My BF (45) has 2 DD (5,7) with his ex (31). I’m 48 and my DD is grown up.
Youngest DD is having tantrums about seeing her dad. So bad that the nursery called him yesterday. So he went and got her even though it wasn’t his weekend for the kids. The other DD is still with her mother this weekend.
We don’t live together and I have only met the children once because of these
problems. Taking it very slow. During our time together (15 months) the ex has had 3 boyfriends - all moved in after a couple of weeks. This must be hard on the DDs.
Ex does not know how to deal with the tantrums. She calls BF sometimes when the little one has a tantrum and I hear what is going on - she threatens the child or says horrible things to my BF about the child while the child is there.
BF is now talking about having the little one full time. I don’t think it’s fair on the other one if they are separated but the little one is obviously distressed.
He split with ex because of her narcissistic ways. I’ve heard her on the phone so I know he’s not BSing me.
I am lost with what advice I can give him. I’ve said that rewarding the tantrum was not a good idea yesterday but it needs work from the mother’s side as well and she won’t discuss anything.