How much does your 2 year old want to be carried?

[RachelG]

I'm having a hell of a time with DS (age 2.5) lately, lots of tantrums and general conflict. It seems that much of the conflict arises from the fact that he wants to be carried around much more than I want to carry him. I'm starting to get a bad back!

I was chatting to a pregnant friend the other day, who has a daughter the same age. I said it must be hard for her avoiding lifting. She said it wasn't too bad because her DD only needs lifting to get into her cot and the car seat. That's it, no other lifting! I was stunned. DS will frequently refuse to walk upstairs, downstairs, from room to room etc.

I just wondered what other 2 year olds were like.

Hmmm also pregnant and my DS also 2.5 and wanting to be carried around a bit-mummy pick me up -usually when tired or ill though and unfortunately he has had some sort of bug for the last week so has been doing this a lot. If he is not ill or tired I use the trike with the handle (not in the house obv) or try and chivvy him along by distraction (who can spot a bus first etc) or running 'races' or 'chasing' him/him 'chasing' mummy even if it is only from one room to another. 'counting' steps also works sometimes

Hmm, my ds is 2.3 and has some days like this.

Often he will say he wants to walk but then wants carried and clings on my legs wailing. I still use a back carry with the ergo baby carrier, so it's not any bother for me to lift him into it when he's not wanting to walk. This is also my tactic for containing him if he tries to tantrum when we are out! It kills it dead because he knows there's no way he can get out!! I would get a sore back in minutes carrying him without the ergo, but with it, I can carry him for over an hour at a time.

He does our stairs no problem, but normally will want carried up and down strange stairs. He won't climb down our front doorstep and refuses point blank to walk over the path in the back garden. In fairness, the path is steeply sloped and is uneven. I don't think it has occured to him that he might be able to get up and down from his carseat on his own! He is still in a cot, so obviously I have to lift him in and out and he just isn't a climber at all when it comes to chairs and sofas etc.

He is generally very cautious about anything physical, for example he doesn't really enjoy going to soft play. I am sure this is just a phase for him, and perhaps because he didn't walk until he was 20 months, he is maybe still not as sure about it all compared to his earlier walking contemporaries.

ds2 is 24mo. I carry him a reasonable amount, but not from room-to-room.
I try and encourage him to come downstairs himself, he likes me to carry him, so I get my hands full (washing basket etc) so I can't, and he moans less than if I just say no.
He gets into his car seat himself (little step in footwell) unless I am in a rush and he usually gets out himself.
I probably carry him more than I did ds1 at the same age (partly because he is my last and partly because ds1 was SOOO heavy).
I suppose I mostly carry him when he is tired.

ds (2.9) does this outside if it is windy or he is tired. since he gets up at 6am and we live in britain this is more often than i'd prefer. he likes to be carried at home when he is cross that i'm going to work or feels like being babied a bit. i get round it by sitting him on kitchen worktop while i cook/put on makeup/stare into space.

dd1 is 2.1 and I dont have to lift her that often..however that might be because she has been used to me having dd2 in arms. There is only a 12mth gap and apart from occasional piggy back down the stairs dd1 is quite independent and ds was similair as he was 2.2 when dd1 was born and I started weaning him of being carried from being around 6mths pg..good job really as was only not pg for 3mths before was expecting dd2.

Same as your friend. I will carry him sometimes but he generally doesn't ask for it unless he is very tired or upset. Also, I have a younger baby so I think he got the 'message' during pregnancy that I was not able to carry him often.

he is only 2 so dont fret about it. Go with the flow carry him if he wants it and dont worry about it. he will soon get to the stage where he doesnt want to be carried no matter what. I have carried ds since he was born and he still occasionally likes to be carried. I dont worry on it too much though

DD (2.5) was like this until a few weeks ago. Suddenly, she is happy to go up and down stairs and walk about by herself when we go outside. The change was quite sudden. I hope your DS goes through such a change soon.

DS is 2.4 and doesnt like being carried so much now, except when he is poorly (which he is at the moment!)but when he does want to be carried and I dont want to (I am heavily pregnant and cant manage it so well!) I find that having my hands full and telling him that I have no hands free really does work with him. He moans a bit sometimes at the stairs etc, but he will do it!
Also with getting in and out his car seat or high chair (its a Stokke tripp trapp one without any straps on, so just like a normal chair but higher now).. i go for the 'right, ollie get into the chair himself... i'm gonna count to 3 now.... 1....2.... ' and that normally does the trick too!
HTH

Ds (2.&) has been pretty good for quite a while but until recently 'tried it on' e.g. asking me to carry him upstairs occasionally for no apparent need. I have told him for the last few weeks that he is a big boy now and too heavy for me to carry him as it hurts my back and he has accepted that fine. But I guess you've tried that?

He now seems to have forgotten to ask.

mine is 3 and still wants liftin about 70% of the time. when she was two it was permanently being lifted. they are all different. it was hard to resist her so i carried her alot.

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I rarely carry my ds and he is 2.5. I Also have a 1yo dd so I still have to carry her up and down the stairs so he doesnt really get much chance. He has always been a big boy (he is over 17kg and often mistaken for a 3-4yo) and even lifting him in and out of the carseat was killing my back so I have been teaching him to do it himself. I dont think he has much choice really so has just come to terms with it and it is normal to him. I cant remember the last time he asked me to pick him up actually. It is kind of sad really as he seems like such a big boy now.

DS was a worn baby (I used slings instead of pushchair and also around the house etc.)

Would second the suggestion of a sling. It really saves your back. Also, my DS really wanted to be up and down and so he got a bit fed up with being put in and out of the sling (I use a storchenwiege wrap most of the time, but also the Ergo) and decided to walk instead.

Now I slightly miss it, because he walks everywhere. The transformation was quite sudden, but I encouraged it with singing and silly rhymes to walk along to.

My dd is 2.1 and hasn't been carried out of request since she was about 14mths. She has mainly walked or crawled upstairs. DH carries her sometimes up to bed but I don't.
She now walks to school and back about 10 mins each way and walks around parks etc. She does get tired occasionally and starts thumb sucking so then goes into the buggy/ DH shoulders. I find she doesn't demand to be carried or pushed if I don't take the pushchair and explain she is too heavy for mummy to lift.
Another good trick is getting them to collect things like leaves and daisies on the way to wherever to distract them.

sorry meant to say not carried in the house since 14mths, not totally

ds is 2 yrs 8 months and is going through a phase of wanting to be carried all the time, upstairs, down the road etc. he was just 2 when dd was born and i had to carry him throughout the pregnancy. it is hard work isn't it?