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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

sleeping through the night - when and how?

22 replies

miffymum · 11/02/2008 11:31

My DD (3months) wakes regularly around 2/3am for feeds during the night. I've tried giving her a dream feed about 10.30/11pm - she now wakes up for dream feed AND night feed - not quite what I was hoping for...

Wouldn't be so bad, but I keep meeting Mums whose babies (same age or younger) sleep through the night - in fact almost all of them

How and when do babies sleep through? Does anyone have any tips?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TrinityRhino · 11/02/2008 11:33

in this house where I cannot do and dont beleive in CC it;s about the age of 2 with gradual wothdrawal from co sleeping

castille · 11/02/2008 11:39

Waking for a feed at 3 months is pretty normal.

If you want to try a sleep training method you should wait until your DD doesn't actually need to feed in the night (ie when she doesn't take much milk and is waking out of habit rather than actual hunger)

Oblomov · 11/02/2008 11:40

ds slept through at 13 weeks. By mumsnet consensus this is very early. How many threads have you read where 6 mths, 1 year 2 year olds 3 years olds etc etc won't sleep through ?
Ds had dropped his 10.30 feed first and dropped the 2.30 feed last, at 13 weeks.
If she needs it, she needs it. I think you might find that this will sort itself in the next few weeks and you will wonder why it bothered you.

tryingtoleave · 11/02/2008 12:17

Miffymum, some people lie about their babies sleeping through. Other people have weird ideas about what sleeping though means. Other people are unduly positive about their babies sleeping. For example, I knew one mum who insisted her baby slept through but everytime I chatted to her she would say that last night baby woke up because she was teething, cold, hungry etc etc. She wasn't lying, she just took the nights that her baby slept through as the norm and the nights when she woke as exceptions even though they were such frequent exceptions that a less positive person might see them as the norm.

Fwiw, my ds slept through at 2 months. I was hugely smug, thought everyone else was doing something wrong. He started waking again at 4 months and has never slept through again. There have been times when he's just woken once and times when he has woken every 40 minutes all night. He is now 19 months. Some of my friends, who had more problems when their babies were little, have had them sleeping through for a while now while I am still being woken up. So you just think of that next time someone is boasting to you about their baby sleeping through. It's not over till it's over...

Oblomov · 11/02/2008 12:23

tryingtoleave, thats true, some peoples idea of sleeping through seems to be an annual 4 continuous hours.
I mean 11 hours totally asleep.

weeonion · 11/02/2008 12:24

miffy - do not despai. i think that alot more people say the babies are sleeping through than actually are. i als thik it equates to some bizarre idea that if your baby is "good" it sleeps through. it seems it becomes a grail to be reached for. dd now 9mths has started to pretty much go until 6am but some nights its 4am others 5am. i had got myself so stressed that she wasnt doign this that it made it seem worse. she has pretty much managed it by herself - we did try some versions of sleep training but tbh - i found it really hard to do. she has a bedtime routine and i think that helped her get used to putting herself over to sleep. please dont compare yourself and your dd to other women. i have found so much bluffing around that i just smile sweetly at them and let them witter on.

Oblomov · 11/02/2008 12:34

yeah welcome to the competitive world of " my little johhny ate quinola and ran the London marathon at 3 1/2 weeks brigade.
Don't let this upset you. Becasue what is the point ?

Dragonhart · 11/02/2008 12:35

My ds slept through early (Im taking sleeping through to mean 12hours) at about 2months and dd was the same. I used to feed them like crazy before bed, from 4pm until bed at 7pm and made sure that they were awake or stired so they knew where they were before I left the room. I never dream fed and they were doing what your dd is doing and having a feed very early morning which got later and later until it was 7. Then I would wake them if they had not stired in the morning before 7.30.

Having said that, like tryingtoleave says, even if children sleep well, they are still going to wake if they are in pain, frightened, cold, hot ect. I am sure no baby/child 'sleeps through' every night. Also, there is no norm is there. Often people say that if they are giving their baby a dream feed at 10-11 that they are sleeping through but IMO, it is not different from waking in the early hours of the morning for a feed. If your dd is small she may need more feeds that other children. I definatly wouldnt worry as she is only little.

My 2.6yo ds, after two and a bit years of sleeping well most nights, has started having terrible nightmares. The nights are so hard now and he often disturbs my dd. Just trying to say it never stays the same. Just when you think you have it cracked, they grow up a bit and it all changes.

Seona1973 · 11/02/2008 12:43

dd (4) first slept through from 5 1/2months and ds (16 months) never did it till 8 months. But there are still nights when one or other of them disturbs us. DS often cries out in the night but (normally) settles himself within a few minutes - just because they dont wake for a feed doesnt mean they dont wake up at all. DD also went through a phase at 2 1/2 of coming through and waking me in the middle of the night even though she was normally a good sleeper. She is great just now but thats not to say it will change in the future because that is the nature of small children!!

Original poster

miffymum · 11/02/2008 16:07

Hmm - interesting. Looking back on it conversations about sleeping may well have had a boasting edge to them - I just never picked up on it. Thanks all - now feel I can relax about it, enjoy the night-time cuddles and stop worrying about losing marbles due to lack of sleep!

OP posts:

Christywhisty · 11/02/2008 17:43

I never lied about my babies sleeping through. Both of them slept through at about 3 months.

By this I mean I put them to bed before I did probably about 10 then they didn't wake up and cry for a feed until after 7am. They may have woken up but they settled themselves. They were in our room so if they had cried I would have heard it straight away. This was obviously unless they were ill etc.
It is perfectly normal to sleep through at this age, a lot of babies do, it is not parents boasting or lying.

Dragonhart · 11/02/2008 20:36

I think the point is that everyone's definition of 'sleeping through' is different. Some say it is a chunk of sleep, say 5+ hours, others say it is sleeping with one feed and others say that it is 12hours. It is why it gets confusing.

tassisssss · 11/02/2008 20:43

Both mine did 12 hours (or 13 in dd's case) from about 8 months. It just gradually got better and better.

At 3 months both woulod probably have gone down about 7pm. Ds fed at 10.30pm and about 3.30pm. Dd more like 1 and 5. It made no difference to dd (at this age) if I fed her in the evening - she's still be up another twice!

2GIRLS · 12/02/2008 22:22

All my dc's definitely didn't sleep through at 3 months, it is quite little to expect them to do that i think.

And until they are about 4 months they need a feed in the night so I would still feed her if she wakes (though it's totally different if your dc sleeps through on it's own then they obviously are fine without it, every child is different).

This stage won't last long, so just go with what she needs at the moment, the time will come very soon when you can look at doing things to get her to sleep better.

Though saying that, even though my 3 sleep ok, someone is up in the night for some reason or doesn't go to sleep when they should or something is going on that deprives me of sleep; have been like a zombie for years and years now.

Pinchypants · 13/02/2008 13:53

I agree that everyone's definition of sleeping through is different, depending on how well it matches with your sleep needs or not! For me, it meant getting enough calories into DD during the day, putting her to bed at 7 then half-waking her for a dreamfeed around 10/11 before I went to bed. When she was bang on nine weeks old she just didn't stir between the dreamfeed and 6.30/7am any more. There was no controlled crying - she just didn't want any more food and has always been very keen on sleeping. Apart from illness, has been the same ever since - she's now 18 months. However, I have some friends who felt that the dreamfeed was essentially a night feed as they were desperate to go to bed at 9, and actually preferred to do a real middle of the night feed rather than staying up to squeeze in the dreamfeed. Horses for courses - and of course every baby is different. I'm under no illusions that number two, due this summer, will do anything the same as DD!

Meandmyjoe · 13/02/2008 20:52

My opinion is that people lie! So many of my friends at the time said their babies slept through the night a something ridiculous like 5 weeks?!!! Then our little boy came along and I couldn't work out why he wasn't sleeping through at 8 weeks. When I asked my friends, most of them admitted that 'sleeping through' just meant from Midnight til 5am or 6am. People's ideas (and expectations) are all completely different. I was one of the lucky buggers whose baby genuinely slept for 11 hours a night from being 10 weeks. However, I''m sure that's just cos he's so bloody awful in the day and he's exhausted! My mate's son still doesn't sleep through now and he's 15 months old (sorry, that might not be what you want to hear!). Main advice is establish a really really good bedtime routine. We had no other routine but the bedtime ritual! Everything else was pretty much on demand but rest for the baby and you is paramount! It will happen one day and to be honest- I miss the quiet times holding my boy in the night whilst he happily fed! Thankfully he always fell straight back to sleep so it was never a great disruption. Good luck!

bunnyhunny · 13/02/2008 20:57

ds slept through when he was 6 months.

interestingly, everyone I know whose babies slept through early are no longer sleeping through now they are a year. while ds was later to start, but is still doing it.

theprecious · 13/02/2008 22:21

I would agree with other posters and say;

Ask people to clarify what they mean by "sleeping through"
ff babies sleep better than bf ones (imo)
What goes around comes around! You might get a few nights of sleeping through (and you go blab blah my baby sleeps through) then a few nights of him totally not sleeping (which you don't mention).

Relax - everyone's baby is hard work some of the time. And if you have a sleeper that wakes up at 6months then boy, do you feel it.

I would cut out night feeds after 6mths/ on solids and just offer water. And a bedime routine is V imp.

Good luck and don't feel bad.

gingerninja · 13/02/2008 22:32

They're telling porkies. My DD has 'slept through' about 4 times and that was only until about 5am. She's 17 months. One thing after another wakes them, hunger, development, teething, comfort the list is endless. It's totally normal for babies to feed in the night at this age. My DD did until she was about 9 months and up until that point she was doing three feeds (after a dream feed) so I'd say you're doing pretty well. Are you bf'ing? Cosleeping may help if you are.

CaptainUnderpants · 13/02/2008 22:51

Sleeping through for me was undinterrupted sleep from midnight until 6am . I had noen of this 7am to 7am .

Mine 'slept through' as above from 8wks and 12 wks , howver 5am wasnot uncommon especailly as mornings got lighter and they got a bit older i.e 6 months or so.

I would take 'sleeping through' with a pince of salt and dont woorry too much about it .

when I had mine ( they are now 7 & 5 yrs ) if they started waking up for feeds then we used to say they were ready for solids as they were getting hungry , BUT that is not the guidelines nowadays .

Dont get too hung up on it .

CaptainUnderpants · 13/02/2008 22:52

Sleeping through for me was undinterrupted sleep from midnight until 6am . I had noen of this 7am to 7am .

Mine 'slept through' as above from 8wks and 12 wks , howver 5am wasnot uncommon especailly as mornings got lighter and they got a bit older i.e 6 months or so.

I would take 'sleeping through' with a pince of salt and dont woorry too much about it .

when I had mine ( they are now 7 & 5 yrs ) if they started waking up for feeds then we used to say they were ready for solids as they were getting hungry , BUT that is not the guidelines nowadays .

Dont get too hung up on it .

mamadoc · 14/02/2008 19:39

Those people whose DC sleep through early might be laughing on the other side of their faces in a few months time.

DD slept 12 hrs 7-7 from 5 months til 7 months. I wish I had appreciated it at the time.

She is now 9mo and those days are a distant memory. She wakes min 2 times a night now sometimes every 2hrs. No idea why. Teething, illnesses, separation anxiety who knows?

My view on it now is 'sleeping through' is not the holy grail everyone makes it out to be.

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