Hello,
DD1 3.5yo has been really pushing boundaries since we brought home DD2 12 days old. We have done all we can to help with the adjustment including gifts from baby which included a bassinet and other bits for her baby dolly so that she can get involved and we are doing our best to provide positive attention but, she is doing all she can to try and gain our negative attention. She is ignoring us at every opportunity and going out of her way to do things that she knows she shouldn't do, in order to gain some sort of reaction. E.g. throwing things on the floor, drawing on things, putting things in her mouth.
We aren't 'shouty' parents and try our best to validate her feelings and let her feel heard. Usually our parenting techniques work really well with her but, nothing at all seems to be working anymore. I write this after a day out at the seaside today was cut short after several warnings that we would need to go home (initially empty threats) but then, we were waiting to cross the road at the traffic lights and she started having a paddy and trying to run out into the road. DH had to grab her and restrain her to keep her safe, which resulted in a huge meltdown and we had to follow through with the threat and take her home.
She is constantly wanting to cuddle and kiss the baby, which is obviously lovely but, we will say don't lean on her or just kiss her cheek, not on the lips but, she ignores us and we often have to intervene to stop her hurting the baby. Tonight, I was breastfeeding DD2 and DD1 came over and grabbed her around the waist and pulled her off my breast.
Whilst we obviously appreciate that a bit of pushback is normal at her age, we are at our wits end as, our previous parenting style is having no effect whatsoever but, we don't want to opt for shouting at her etc. however, she is doing things to put herself and her sister in danger so, we can't ignore this behaviour.
Any tips from anyone who has gone through the same thing when transitioning from 1 to 2 would be greatly appreciated!
Thank you!