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17m old suddenly despises Nursery

3 replies

ComebackQueen · 07/03/2023 11:52

Hi All

My toddler just turned 17months and was in nursery 4 days a week since 10 months. Never cried, never had any issues.

If anything, the nursery kept praising how fast he is advancing with walking at 11 months, speaking enough words to decipher what he wants and what he doesn’t since he turned one. (they were convinced he must have an older sibling or lives with older kids, he doesn’t, he is an only child and most likely will remain son).

The husband and I keep saying please and thank you before we hand anything over so his key worker was impressed with him using these words all the time, sometimes where not necessary like saying ‘I’m happy please’ LOL.

Fast forward to the end of January, constantly clinging to me when I go to drop him off to nursery. He screams ‘No’ and starts hitting his head and saying ‘please, No’.

His key worker left suddenly due to a serious health issue end of December and she’s on leave until her health improves. It sounded very serious when an emergency email was sent out and, the manager personally called all children whom she acted as a key worker for.

Another worker he was fond of, left as she moved out of London at the Xmas break too.

However for a few weeks he was ok. The last few days in January he would just cry and my mother would be forced to collect him.

Then he had tonsillitis in February and for two weeks had to be home because he was on a seven day course and the temperature took so long to break which resulted in an A&E dash where a steroid was administered alongside nurofen and fluids. The steroid was due to low oxygen, I was told by some this creates aggression in children, so I expected him to be different, if that makes sense.

He is ok in all other settings besides nursery, I spoke with them and they assured me that he is OK with his new key worker and when I went in and spied on him, he was in her lap, clapping whilst they were in a circle singing ‘if you’re happy and you know it’.

However, one new child started, similar age to my son, double the size and height (my son was under 10th percentile at birth and still small on both height and weight) and at the drop off last Thursday, my husband and I saw that child and his mother, the child was excited to see my son and in the excitement banged my son on his head as he went from clapping to tapping my son.

I know all children can be a bit grabby and snatched or in excitement without using words, express via hands and movement.

We thought nothing of it until yesterday my mother was called to collect me son early as he was inconsolable. The children had a fight over his blanket, in the grabbing, the child managed to topple over my son, quite badly that he still had a red bump.

This morning we sent him back, they sent a picture on the app and my son looks very miserable but on one of the pics (seven in total) you can see that same child with his hand placed on the top of my sons head but he is smiling. I don’t think he is a bully, I just think my son isn’t used to rough and tumble.

Shall I broach this with the nursery if this upset has continued until end of the month because by then any side effects from medication will be out of his system.

Or will they think I am being neurotic? Obviously the other child isn’t doing anything out of the ordinary for children but his suddenly dislike of nursery has coincided with the child arriving, key worker departing and a horrible illness. I think the latter two we have addressed, I hope so anyway so am I just looking for something that’s not there or am I right to maybe discuss?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ComebackQueen · 07/03/2023 11:56

Typos*

firstly the call was to parents of all children to the now departed key worker.

secondly, the other child was smiling when he had his hand perched on top of my sons head, where my son look upset/miserable.

third and finally, the more I look at the picture and the other behaviour, the more I am convinced to leave it a week or two then broach it.

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PritiPatelsMaker · 07/03/2023 21:46

He's had a few things all at once poor lamb. Two key workers leaving, an illness and a new starter.

Is he completely recovered from his illness? Have you tried him with a dose of Calpol?

I think I would he tempted to talk to the Nursery though to see why they think his behaviour has changed.

ComebackQueen · 08/03/2023 08:05

Thanks PPM

It is definitely a combination of a lot of things. The husband and I are going in on Friday again to have a conversation, I’ll rule nothing out yet and be sure to ask how he appears to be getting on with that other child too!

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