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Behaviour/development

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People who have had a 3/4 YO DD...

11 replies

starclucks · 20/02/2023 15:51

My DD is almost 4. Bright, talked since an early age, no communication issues, etc.

I may be being over sensitive to how sensitive she is so thought I'd post to a load of strangers on the internet who have 'been there' to
See if anything about my DDs behaviour can just be classed as a development leap, etc.

A few things are concerning me about her behaviour lately.

She's started having bad dreams very frequently. Nearly every night she will cry out, then be restless for around an hour. No night terrors, but still not nice.

She's started complaining of headaches a couple of times a week. She had an eye test 3 weeks ago which was fine, so just not sure if she voices it now she recognises it?

She has spoken a few times about her 'inside voice', in her head. I've explained we all have one of these. She first remarked about this a week ago.

She is due a baby sister in the summer & seems very happy about this. However Preschool said a couple of weeks ago how she burst in to tears & said 'she didn't know what was happening' seemingly related to the baby. When I asked her why she had said that/what she meant, she said she thought the baby was going to be 'here today'. No idea why she said that or if that even was what she thought at the time.

She is also due to start school at the end of the year & seems to be looking forward to this too.

Today we met with a friend we don't see much due to geography, & she was playing happily with my friends DS who is a year older. It came to the end, where he had a stick they both wanted to throw in the river. Friends DS changed his mind & then didn't want to throw it in. DD still tried to throw it, so I explained that the stick belonged to DS & we weren't going to throw it in, & she just lost it. No temper, no shouting, just crying & crying. She wouldn't stop for another 5/10 mins until we were in the car. It sounds silly but it just isn't usual for her to react like that. Usually she just accepts most things. She is a sensitive soul & I think because she was crying she may have felt embarrassed & then didn't know how to stop. In the car I asked her why she was crying & she said she didn't know.

She's usually a happy, hilarious little character & I absolutely know that I'm very sensitive & health anxious toward her. She's my first & I don't know what to expect so I do query whether such things are normal & just part of growing up. Sorry for the long ramble, I have no one to talk to about it. Thanks if you got this far x

OP posts:
Gwen82 · 20/02/2023 15:52

How serious is your health anxiety about her?

starclucks · 20/02/2023 15:56

@Gwen82 She was in ICU at birth unexpectedly for 2 weeks, so higher than normal, sadly.

OP posts:
Gwen82 · 20/02/2023 16:04

yes I sense that.

all normal. Dreams will be because her imagination is firing up. Incident yesterday just typical toddler / 4 behaviour

and the voices inside head… she’s probably referring to just thoughts. Remember that very young can’t articulate often because they don’t have the right words eg sore throat often described as neck ache

Gwen82 · 20/02/2023 16:06

She is a sensitive soul & I think because she was crying she may have felt embarrassed & then didn't know how to stop.

she was having a tizz! We all have “em and this is the 3/4 year old equivalent of one !

starclucks · 20/02/2023 17:24

@Gwen82 Thank you for your replies. It's just unusual for her to react in that way so it confused me tbh.

OP posts:
NewMum0305 · 20/02/2023 21:19

I have a nearly-four year old who sounds v similar to yours - early talker, normally calm.

She has definitely become more emotional/sensitive recently, and can be in floods of tears over what to me (but not to her) are very small things. I’m just viewing it as a phase and doing my best to support her through x

starclucks · 23/02/2023 17:00

Thanks @NewMum0305 - she came home from PS earlier then burst in to tears despite being quite happy with my mum whilst I was working & only wanted me, when I asked her why she was crying she said 'I don't know!' Poor thing.

OP posts:
CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 23/02/2023 19:34

My DD was nearly 4 when DS was born and she was very emotional in the lead up to it. Although at times she seemed to understand that we'd have a baby and sometimes said she was excited, other times she was really quite upset about it. It's a huge change and quite an abstract thing until the baby actually arrives. Make sure she has lots of reassurance about how special she is and how she'll still be special when the baby arrives.

MattieandmummyandIs · 23/02/2023 21:47

I'd put money on it being new sibling related, my DD1 was almost 4 when DD2 arrived and she was very unsettled prior to DD2 arriving - lots of crying and 'i don't know why' given as the reason. Her having less Mummy time once DD2 arrived was very very hard, I would make sure she gets a lot of one on one time with you once bump has arrived and even then expect a bumpy ride. My DD1 was also an unexpected 2 week stay in NICU baby so I totally get it x

starclucks · 24/02/2023 08:38

Thank you @MattieandmummyandIs @CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease
I have asked her if there is anything she's worried about, she says no. I've asked her specifically if she's worried about her baby brother coming along & she was very quick to say 'No mummy I can't wait!' He's also not due until July, ages away. But you just don't know do you. She's been out of nappies at night for ten months but she's had 2 accidents in the last ten days. There's only so many times I can ask a 3 YO if they're worried about something without giving them a complex I suppose.

OP posts:
CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 24/02/2023 14:56

Yeah, and they often don’t understand their feelings at this age. It’s very likely a subconscious worry I would think.

I hope things get easier soon.

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