I am full time partent/mum to SS 11&15 - I have been for 5 years.
These kids are just beyond hard work. We don't know what to do anymore. We are at the bottom now. I’m at the end of my rope it’s weekly stress and upset.
They both, lie, steal, don't obey by simple rules, don't even bother to try and cover up, one of them loses his belongings constantly and makes so effort to tell us or try and find it so we don’t find out. We are on the the 4th school coat this year. He literally doesn’t care?
I know that all these behaviours are normal but is it normal to no show remorse or learn from mistakes? We have taken things from them and stopped things they like so they know that if they do X they lose Y. But nothing puts them off.
our rules are pretty basic
- don’t steal
- dont lie
- look after your things
- come back on time when given a time
- please ask before you take food
that is all. And I think that’s not much to ask. Of course no kids it going to get it right every time but daily?
One has been caught shop lifting recently and he even stole £1000 in app purchases 2 years ago from us. When we gave him a hard lesson in why stealing is bad and how people are eating from food banks and how we as a family are struggling we felt like we'd put it all behind us. We took his console away for 6 months and again I find we are back to square 1. This weekend he stole from my mums cupboards in her home.
The other boy who loses things constantly and lies and steals has been buying school lunches for his friends and told everyone in his school he is rich? Even though we've told him we can only afford one school meal per week as a treat for him, his brother and my BD.
We are in a cycle of taking privileges and grounding and stopping treats and electronics but literally nothing works they don't learn?
We don't know what to do ? But also what is wrong with these kids?
They should know that if I do X I will lose my favourite things to do or have? At their ages!
It's so frustrating.
They don't communicate either why so we have nothing to work with. They just strug their shoulders and say they don't know why they do certain things. Likes it out of their control?!
I'd be interested to know what people think or if anyone has had a similar experience?