Previously confident independant 3.11yr old suddenly doesn't want to go anywhere where i'm not.

[notsofarnow]

ds has always loved going to playgroup etc and started nursery in Sept and has been absolutely fine but over recent weeks he keeps saying he doesn't want to stay because he wants to be at home with me.

He also doesn't want to sleep at his Dad's or go away with him next week to his gp's.

His teacher says that he shows no signs of not wanting to be there and cant give specific reasons as to why he says he doesn't want to stay. Everyone loves him being in their group and the teachers adore him.

Why does he suddenly want to be with me at home constantly?

bump

i think somwhere along the line he has had his confidence knocked something has happened or hes heard something that has frightened him,knocked his confidence and he feels vulnerable now im not saying this as a big hoo ha lots of children have this and it can become very tiring for his carers but what he needs is constant reasurance and constant confidence building and you as his mummy are the best person for it lots of hugs and we are going to school miss whoever is there shes very nice do u remember how she liked your new wellies?/that super pictue you drew...encourage his confidence with other people only certain people to start with-you cant expect him to feel secure about it straight away but persevere and before you go somewhere that you know he wont want to stay like school or whatever u have to tell him what u will be doing what he will be doing and reassure him of one peson there ,remind him u dont have lots of time when dropping him of at school but it will only be a shrt time b4 u see him again and give him something to look forward too.
Another thing id say has he watched any films? or played on any playstations lately?(my youngest got scared by this grrrr)also has he had any nightmares? nightime is the time that thoughts are filed away and it could be that dog he saw in the park altho it was perfectly harmless in the night became something far worse.
be assured this is a phase it will pass-ive had it with 2 of my 3 children (my eldest was just over 2 when his idolised nanna died and he was truly dreadful he would not leave my side and went hysterical if i lay on the settee which was where hed seen his nanna lie whilst she was poorlyand lots of children at nursery had it and indeed several in reception class its all part of growing up xxx
good luck

agree that children this age do seem to get more prone to fears, worries, bad dreams, etc. It's a natural phase of course, I think it's because they are becoming more aware of the big world around them and they are trying to make sense of it.

He could possibly also be finding it unsettling sleeping at his dads, even if you've been separated for ages and he's been fine with it before - kids have to kind of 're-experience' things as their understanding grows and perhaps it's a bit of that going on, and a natural thing of finding it a bit harder having two places to sleep - one is scary enough for a lot of kids! i'm sure he will be fine with it all again in time though so I'm sure it's worth pursuing.

just give him lots of reassurance as Dippy has said so rightly and he will be fine.

he has had problems recently with monsters in his wall and with one of his friends mum coming out of the wall to bite him.

We got rid of the monsters with air freshner (majic monster spray)

His dad and i have been apart for almost a year, so such a lot has changed in his life.

He is the most gorgeous bundle of fun and I would hate for him to become a quiet, fearful, mopey 4 yr old.

aw, don't worry, I'm sure he won't - just keep on re-assuring him and not making fun of his fears and I'm sure he will be absolutely fine!

I saw this happen with my ds who as a 2 and 3 year old would take himself off to the loo at any time of day or night no problem, and now at 5 he can't bear to go alone!

My ds went through similar last year, aged about 3.5, following house move & new baby. He panicked whenever I got up, even just to go into the kitchen. Also mentioned monsters and "something" coming to get him. Think that might have come from a dream. Kept saying "are there monsters here?" wherever we went.
It is very difficult but it will pass - like the others have said, with a lot of reassurance and love

it will pass hun- you are doing the right things change is v difficult for some children to accept,odd about his friends mum i wonder if thats the 'fear factor' someone he should feel safe with and hes scared by her im not saying shes hurt him or been mean hes obviosly seen something he cant quite interpret my son used to be scared of a woman who wore a bright red lipstick....id worn similar colours but he said she looked like she might eat him

I don't think he knows who this childs mother is iykwim because I wouldn't know who she is.

Also I have been off work for last 4 weeks with depression his teacher thinks that he has picked up on that and that he just wants to be with me to make sure i'm ok.

I thought i'd done quite well hiding it from the dc.

you probably have hidden it very well but they can be perceptive little buggas ....i dont think its your depression thats upset him it may have had a bit of an impact but i can tell u adore him and clearly he adores you so this time will pass and i dunno i always think things seem better when the sun shines so come spring you will both be right on par im sure ((notsofarnow)),,a hug for u lol

awww thanks for the hug. tbh out of the four of them I thought he would be the one I would have the least problems with socialising etc but maybe he going to prove me wrong. Plus he the only boy.