3.5yo tantrums/meltdowns when leave house

[ConfusedFox]

Hi all,
Seeking advice/reassurance. My very strong willed 3.5yp DS has meltdowns whenever we leave the house for anything really - preschool (always fine when there and has a lovely day), going to shops, park... anything. The tantrums invoice shouting, flinging himself to the floor, kicking etc. He is fairly quick to come out of them which is positive but it is so draining and upsetting. I had to abandon a trip to the park with my 7yo DD earlier because he had such a meltdown and is so big I can't force/carry. I try to remain calm/give him space/offer a cuddle. Is this a phase or something more? Has anyone been through anything similar? It's improved if lots of warning, steps etc but not always?

HELP!

Bump anyone?

I feel your pain - DD aged 4 is better now but there are some days her dad can't get her out at all, she's a bit better for me. One thing that's helped a bit for us is engaging her in the idea of going out and what fun thing we're going to do, then being ready to go very fast when she briefly expresses some enthusiasm for it so we're out before she changes her mind. Not sure how easy that would be with a second child as well though.

It's certainly not just you having this trouble though.

@Flev thank you for replying. I will try that, thank you. Does your DD fling herself to floor/arched back etc? It's almost like my son is possessed when he does it. Is lovely the rest of the time - if very strong willed! Makes me feel like an awful parent and I feel for my 7yo DD!

She's stopped that now, but we're now onto full-on screaming "NO! NO! NO!" and throwing things round the room when we go into tantrum mode - not sure which is worse!