Constant whinging and crying....I need to find ways of dealing with this before I go mad

[DontDreamItBeIt]

DD2 is 7, has always been a needy child, very sensitive and easily upset, but she is now upset and crying over absolutely nothing about once an hour.

For example, after a pleasant walk home from school she walked in the door and was in tears because her teacher forgot to let her help him with some activity two days earlier.
She cried all the way home from Brownies, because her sister and friend were laughing (not at her).

I ignore as much as I can, and she does eventually stop and get back to whatever she was doing, but the slghtest thing will set her off again.
If I get cross she gets even more upset.

Is it just a (very long) phase?
Can I do anything to help her get past this, as she is obviously not happy alot of the time?

All advice gratefully received.

having a very sensitive dd myself (now 12) I have an idea of what you mean. I think it is prob a phase as you say, and it will pass even if you feel like it's endless at the mo. She just needs lots of support and patience (arrrrgh) and she will find her own inner strength to cope with the ups and downs of life.

No good getting angry with her as you say...best thing maybe is to empathise and then move on quickly to something else...that way she learns that life goes on.

Does she feel like she's in sister's shadow?

I don't know tbh. They are very close in age, and very different in personality.

If I could just sit and cuddle her all day she would be very happy, but that isn't really a solution.

Fight fire with fire, is what my cousin says.

She recommends giving a big hug and a HUGE amount of SYMPATHY 'OHHHHHH POOOOOR YOU. ARE YOU FEEELING OK?'

And then rushing towards her daughters with arms open wide.

Since they usually only want a quick bit of sympathy and since kids are so damned perverse, they usually go with it for a minute or two and then push Momma away.

She's had four girls - they all went through the stage - and she says you should fight the temptation to be English (pull your socks up, child) and be more Italian American.

It doesn't last anyway. Well, stops before they're fifteen!

I wonder, sometimes, whether ignoring is the best way to go. Maybe they feel they have to do even MORE of it in case we haven't noticed?

How about a quick kiss and cuddle every time she cries, and saying 'when you feel better you can tell me all about it', then going and getting on with your jobs.

My oldest child was a bit like this at your daughter's age and at the end of each day I used to ask him to tell me the worst and the best thing about his day, he used to really enjoy this and would remind me if ever I forgot.

I can't get away with a quick bit of sympathy. She really would have me cuddle her all day if I could. I can't remember her ever stopping a hug first

I do need to spend more time with just her.

interesting dontdream...just looked at your profile and see that she is the middle child...ha ha! so is my sensitive one!!

You know what maybe sitting and cuddling is not a solution but it just might be part of it. Maybe she is finding life a little intimidating at the mo, big sis probably all together in charge of her life (or so it seems to a seven year old) and the baby of the family of course will be getting loads of attention!!!

Sorry if I'm off-track here, i'm sure they'll be more ideas from others later.

I find over the top sympathy is a quick diffuser. If I ignore or play down their woes it goes on for days hours!

Just wondering if its anything to do with dd1 recently getting her own room? and the two of them being split up, is dd2 feeling this more than dd1, as they're close in age? is dd2 feeling a bit down, now that she's only getting to share with ds? do you think??
trying to think what we do with dd1 when she gets like this, and its usually when she's tired.....erm....just lots of cuddles I guess and try to put her mind at rest, that there's no need to be upset about whatever.
Is there anything going on at school do you think?

take her off all sugar and sweets. it will take a few days but you will see results!!

take her off all sugar and sweets. it will take a few days but you will see results!!

Thanks all.

She was a middle child fo the five years before ds was born, too, dolally

She gets a teaspoon of sugar on her weetabix for breakfast, an occasional chocolate biscuit in her lunchbox, and we don't do sweets at all. Would that small amount be making that much difference?

I had to lol at days....so true.

dd1 has only been in her new room two days. So far he novelty of the top bunk, and having somewhere she can shut dd1 out seem to be keeping her happy. Sharing with ds is not causing her a problem yet.

right, get your point!

will shut up for a while and check out everybody else's views...

no that should be fine