My 6yo has started a new school.
I’ve had a teacher meeting as she has scared some girl classmates by telling them about her “bad dad” and an assault of me that she witnessed.
Had a meeting with the teacher. I think the girls parents were horrified - I met the relevant mother the other day and she seemed icy / uninterested but I assumed that was just her personality (it might well be anyway). I have to explain to my daughter that these sorts of conversations are for adults rather than friends, which is understandable.
My heart is sinking for my little one right now and I feel a bit mortified and socially sensitive, I guess a fear is that my daughter or I will be somewhat type-casted or deliberately avoided due to our experience of DV by other parents who want to protect their kids from hearing this sort of stuff 😔I feel sad and embarrassed that it’s my background as well.
(I think this may have happened once before with a girl my daughter adored, I will never fully know though. at the time, I casually dropped a note with my phone number and later gave a birthday invite as my daughter really wanted a play date , but never once heard from the mother and was ignored over 1.5 years, we left a goodbye & reach our note too. I couldn’t understand why they so wanted nothing to do with us though we were going through a lot of DV harassment and legal issues at the time. )
Should I reach out to the mum and apologise/ explain that I am helping my daughter not do that? Or just leave it? I guess parents will have an opinion regardless of what I say? If I reach out, is there anything more I could say? How would you respond if your young child told you that a classmate told them about a DV experience? Would you want your child to avoid that child? Please don’t put icing on your response, be honest as I really want to understand the thought process ‘on the other side’. Thanks in advance.
Background
I left the DV situation when my daughter was 1, the assault she was referring to happened 2 years later. I have everything in place regarding safety so it doesn’t happen again.. so no direct danger, though my daughter still sees bio dad. No I don’t encourage her use of “bad dad” but am trying to help her change the language without saying her dad is simply “good”, because that would hurt her own learning and boundaries around dealing with abusive types.