This may be a long one. I'm looking for some advice on how to improve things for my 4 year-old. Since just before Christmas, we have moved house, had a baby and he has changed schools. His first day there was dreadful but I thought things were improving and he seemed happy. Yesterday I went to collect him and he was stood on the playground by himself, I could see from his face he was upset. The teacher asked to speak to me and basically said they don't know what to do with him anymore. He's lashing out at staff (kicked one yesterday), being really defiant such as refusing to hang his coat, won't join in with set tasks, completely stops communicating with them when they try to speak to him. She said this is having an impact on his ability to make friends in the class as he very much is a natural leader but the class already has established leaders.
For context, he's gone from a class of 15 kids where he had very strong friendships to a class of 28.
I left the school and burst into tears. I feel so guilty for moving and contemplated transferring him back to his old school where he was happier. I hate the thought of him being an outsider and having no strong friendships. The logical side of me knows that it's more than likely he will build these friendships and everything will settle eventually but I worry about his current wellbeing and the perception of staff about him.
He is so good with his new sister and I have very little problems with him at home. I'm a secondary school teacher and have always wanted my children to love school, which he did at one point. I know he is young but how heavy could this impact on him?
Does anyone have any experience of something similar or could offer any advice?