Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Possible ASD for nearly 3 yo DD - help!

3 replies

EllieF1987 · 01/02/2023 05:47

Hi there,
I have been reading a lot of posts and would really appreciate a perspective / reassurance on my DD and possible ASD. I am out of my mind worry - not that she will get a diagnosis but what it means for her future and how I as her Mum should handle it. Please bare with me...

She turns 3 in April - so she was a lockdown baby. We had no major concerns about her until it became clear her speech was delayed. Her previous nursery did raise some concerns about her lack of speech / social communication but as she was just only two we wanted to give her a chance. She's at a new nursery since September (we moved house) and we proactively started private speech therapy in October. She has been making great progress since starting but her ST did mention (when I asked) she is showing some traits in some ways and not others. So just to share:

Moderate speech and language delay - last few months she has gone from saying odd words to lots of single words, starting to join them up - baby sad, baby gone, mummy up, daddy upstairs etc and will point things out on TV / in a book or when asked (if we get her attention!)

Rigid attention - she struggles with joint attention. Again this has improved since ST but she still struggles with moving away from doing something she really liked! E.g her babies

Repetitive play / playing alone - linked to above. She's doesn't proactively seek out play with others / or join group activities. She can be encouraged and seems to enjoy it if it's singing / dancing/ moving / reading story but she's easily distracted. But she definitely has a set way of playing - two dollies / figures and they bounce together / talk together / looking at them near her eyes. I try to engage her in other play - and it can upset her or she will join for a few mins. Again this has improved in last few months.

Some repetitive movement - bouncing when excited / looking at her hands (I think this is adorable).

These are the observations - she also loves to play alongside herself by the mirror - she gets very animated. Aside from that, she's got good eye contact, excited when she meets people, says hello / bye bye, tries to comfort kids if they are upset or fall over - but this will only happen if she's not in her own world.

Sorry for LONG post. What I hear is - she may grow out of it when she talks / you have nothing to worry about / she will be fine - but I know she is probably has some form of ASD which is fine. But how do I as her Mummy stop worrying so bloody much? I'm not sleeping, I am worrying about her future already and I am not enjoying her for who she is! I feel like a terrible Mum. I cannot stop crying and I also have a 4 month old to think about.

Does everything turn out okay in the end?

PS my husband is massively supportive. He's very practical and says who cares, she's our daughter and she's awesome. Wish I could be more like that!!

OP posts:
PritiPatelsMaker · 01/02/2023 20:17

She does sound very much like my DD who is currently being assessed for ASD.

Is there any chance that you might have PND and this might be affecting your anxiety levels?

EllieF1987 · 01/02/2023 21:32

Thanks @PritiPatelsMaker for your message. I appreciate it. Hope all is well with your little one.

No I don't have PND; I just suffer with anxiety in certain situations. Luckily CBT is helping 😊

OP posts:
Abby567 · 02/02/2023 10:26

Firstly @EllieF1987 worrying doesn't make you a bad mum..you love her and want the best for her..you're worrying because you're a great mum !! I don't think it's normal not to worry loads about your kids at one stage or another! I work in a school..see kids from all sides of the spectrum and it sounds cheesy but it's what makes them an individual..doesn't always hold them back. So much support is in place for them these days but not always needed..
you can't control if she is ASD or not all you can control is how you respond/support.. your husband has a great attitude,she's your awesome daughter and she will be fine. It sounds like she has two great parents..Hope you're ok..xx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page