both my children are awaiting assessment for various additional support needs & we are all having an extremely hard time of it just now. Little to no support! I’m a single mum.
Tonight…
Usual bedtime argument. Things are getting thrown. I try my best to keep DS2 (8yo) in his own room and away from his brother. I start removing things to avoid them getting broken as I knew we had past the point of no return.
he has an ‘over the door’ basketball hoop which he kept hitting & making an awful racket, I asked him to stop which only made it worse. So I attempted to take that, at the same time he has pulled down on the hoop. I’ve asked him to let go & he said no & gestured that he would hit me. I’ve then tried to take the hoop & he’s let go of the metal bit & it’s smacked me right in the jaw. The pain, omg! I just crumbled. DS2 broke down & ran into a different room & DS1 (10yo) came to check on me as I howled in the floor. I could hear DS2 crying from the livingroom but the pain was still in area me to I just ignored him & concentrated on getting ice to my jaw.
DS1 went back to bed & DS2 could still be heard from the other room & when I glanced in he seemed fine. I took the dog out to the garden, had a good cry (could still hear DS2 as my window stays open for our cat) after I’ve composed myself I went to check on DS2 to see if we could calm the situation and finally get to bed. To find he has wrapped a zip tie around his wrist and pulled it as tight as it will go. His hand is red & slightly blue looking & he is in full on panic mode. This literally happened in the space of 5/6mins that I was outside (& I assumed all zip ties were in the toolbox in the shed! )
we managed to get it off & he can move everything attached to that hand. But I asked him why he did it ‘I don’t know’ I asked him why he didn’t come get me or shout his brother to get me ‘I don’t know’
I’ve tried to assure him that no matter how upset or angry I am I never want him to have to panic like that on his own again. If he is hurt, scared or anything inbetween he can come to me. I’m not sure if it’s sunk in.
my jaw is still agony, he still has a ring around his wrist but other than that seems fine…. What’s my next steps?
was this a mental health cry for help? Or a genuine mistake? Tomorrow: Do I go to doctors for both of us? Do I send him to school & explain to them? Do I keep him off?
I just feel like each option begs more questions than solutions.