Poor social skills

[Lolalane]

Hi can can anyone help me with suggestions
I have 19 month old DD who doesn't really engage with people in social settings she happily walks around and does her own thing she won't even engage with the other kids including those familiar to her like cousins she's always off just doing her own things walking up and down constantly and really not bothered by others the only interaction she gives other children is trying to snatch toys off them she's also not bothered by the other adults in a room and she's does not like to be picked up or held by familiar adults apart from me and her dad and occasionally her nan.

How can I help her get more socially engaged with others and for other people if they have children like this did it improve over time as I am very worried about this element of her social skills, I worry she lacks them she seems more internally focused then being bothered by what's going on around her.

Any help or suggestions or even just similar experiences is greatly appreciated thanks lola

This is perfectly normal for a 19 month old. She is at a developmental stage called parallel play, she plays along side others but really her world is her and she doesn't have a proper understanding that others exist with their own needs and lives. She is the world and that's normal.

The next stage, associated play won't happen until she is 2 or 3, that's recognising others are playing and playing next to them, or taking turns with an object but doing separate things. She won't have the capacity for actual cooperative play until she is 4 or 5, that's the ability to play a game together and take part in what others are doing.

I can absolutely reassure you what she is doing is perfectly normal for her age.

I would agree with @machanicalmovement that it's completely normal not to play with other children at that stage. I would actually say you're describing solitary play, where she's doing her own thing in her own space, rather than true parallel play, where children deliberately play near another child, and may mimic them, but not really interact – but solitary play is normal for her age. Some 19 month olds would watch other children curiously or wave at them or similar, but plenty wouldn't quite yet.

I similarly wouldn't be concerned that she's not too interested in unfamiliar adults and doesn't like them picking her up. What is her interaction like with adults she knows – does she like to play with you, dad, nan? Does she show you things (a toy or a big leaf, point at a bus or dog, etc.) and come to you for help (to read a book, to get a snack, for a cuddle when hurt/tired, etc.)?

Hi apologies for the very slow reply and I really appreciate your reply too, it definitely added some comfort knowing that.

She's since improved, she is not great at looking in the exact direction when we point at things but she attempts to look which is great it's a massive improvement from where she used to be and she improving and learning day by day.

She's definitely more engaged with us in the sense she'll point to things and want us to name them item or tell her what it is she ask what's this and what's that a lot too.

Still pretty much has solitary play when around other kids but happy to engage with them when an adult initiates playing with others and also happy to engage when playing games she enjoys and much better at interacting with people in general but still very limited.