2 YO Screaming at Dad

[OrangeJ]

Hoping someone can give me some advice on this 🤞

Our 2 year old is has started getting really upset whenever DH tries to comfort him and worse if he puts him to bed.

Bit of a back story…my husband always used to do the bedtime with him then we alternated. Then at around 20 months I wanted to wean him off the breast so DH exclusively did bedtimes and all was absolutely fine.

Fast forward to today (fully weaned FWIW) and my son is absolutely screaming saying “Mummy do it” over and over until my husband is upset himself and gives up. I don’t know when this changed but think it was when he was poorly and now it’s just the norm.

There’s been no changes at home or routine. I feel like it’s now starting to affect DH mentally. He has strained relationships with both his parents and he wanted his relationship with DS to be different. I think he feels as though he’s failing.

What can I do to help? He’s an amazing dad but DS just doesn’t seem to be comforted by him at all 😢

My DD1 is 5 and still wants mummy for everything, dad is only good for fun and games. DD2 is so different, she goes to DH and is comforted by him. She sometimes looks for him instead of me, doesn’t just accept him as an alternative but actually chooses him.

I think it’s about their personalities. DD1 is highly sensitive and just wants mummy, DD2 is very chilled and is equally happy with both of us. Husband didn’t spend more time bonding, feeding or bathing DD2 as a baby, it’s just how she is.

Stand firm. Don't teach your child that he will get what he wants by hollering at your DH. Give him kiss and cuddles downstairs and then leave dad to it. If he cries, he cries (the kid I mean), no big deal.

It may well just be a phase, I wouldn't worry about it too much but equally I really wouldn't force bedtimes with Dad either because I think it just upsets everyone that way.

My eldest always wanted me and only me at bedtime even now at 4 but has a great relationship with her Dad. In many ways her Dad is the more fun parent, but certainly when she was two it was me for everything. My husband made a real sustained effort to play with her but honestly I think it's actually just age that means she's now happy to be comforted by him now - well sometimes.

DD2 is a totally different child, my husband can do her bedtime no problem. We have done nothing differently with her and both children were/are ebf if that helps.