Nobody faint, but tis good news!!!

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

Had a fab day with DS1 today. Hubby and I talked and planned what we would do to deal with the kids.

I haven't shouted today, I have been confident that I could deal with them and so didn't want a repeat of yesterday. It worked!

This morning wasn't as stressful as usual and I got the kids settled at school okay. When DS1 came out of school he ran into my arms and I can't even remember the last time he did that.

DD hit DS and that was dealt with calmly and fairly and when I called her off the step she came in and said sorry to her brother without any prompting. She even said she didn't need telling.

I need support to keep this up but I really wanted to say thank you to everyone for listening and helping me, it is very very much appreciated.

NAB, i need to turn my computor off, i get nothing done and then i get pissed off. Might i suggest you switch yours off too - go and think about something other than your little lad. You will spend the day waiting for him to be naughty otherwise. Go for a bloody walk - can you see how stern i am being. Shame i dont take my own advice!!!

Have got some jobs done so not feeling too bad. I can't go out as Ds2 is asleep but I haven't been stressing about DS1 for a while.

yea = chocolate all round then, mars bar anyone?

NAB DS1 and I can really push each others buttons. Sometimes he does/says things it seems are designed to really hurt/upset me. I tried once to respond by very calmly telling him I loved him during a major row and he burst in to tears and we had a loveluy hug. My DS1 is very emotional and can be volitile (like me ) sometimes I think his emotions confuse and frighten him and that causes some of his bad behaviour.

That's fab! Was about to post on your Sunday thread, but then saw this. I reckon how you feel in yourself is key - you need to do stuff for you and for your relationship with dh - united you stand, and all that. So glad you're getting support. I think that if you are confident, calm and happy then your ds's behaviour will improve massively.
I was also going to say that none of us are crap parents because there's no such thing as a perfect parent. If you're crap then I am too!

Nab

What's the story re: the friend? You have mentioned it a few times now, although maybe I missed the thread.

I don't have any constructive advice unfortunately, he sounds like the way my dd was behaving a few years back, though she was 3 at the time. I had to get the HV out to help me see where we were clashing etc.. she & I are very alike. She is 6 now & nowhere near as bad now that I have learnt techniques on how to handle her

I'm not for one minute suggesting it is anything you are doing, but often we stress the little things when there's no need, we just don't see it ourselves.

here fireflyfairy2

Was really worried about picking him up. He is upstairs making something with 2 children's cutlery knives and some marbles. Bit worried about the knives but there are no sharp bits at all and we had a talk about him being sinsible and careful

Hasn't kicked off that I forgot his snack and said no computer.

he has started again

i haven't shouted

great post, ami

NAB I'm glad you had a better day but sorry it was followed by a bad one! I do agree with Buda though, it will take time for his behaviour to adjust, and everyone has days like this; he is still a child after all, and it would be weird and inappropriate if he never acted like one!

I totally agree with ami that you do have to keep TELLING him he's nice, and kind, and good - if children don't hear that about themselves they can't believe it. He needs to hear it from you alot first and then he will start to act that way!

Keep talking to your DH, I think it's key that you feel supported and that your kids know mum and dad are a united front.

It always seems to kick off when he is sent away for something. Recently it has been for hitting his siblings and tonight he tore a book on purpose. I have been ignoring as much as I can but spoiling books and hitting are not on. He also encouraged his 2 year old to go near a road.

He wouldn't stay in his room, kept running around the house, said ring daddy then and then laughed when he didn't answer.

I put them all in the car and ran an errand. Ds1 told his sister he would smash her head in tmw and also undid her seatbelt when I was out of the car.

It goes on....

Hubby thinks there is something wrong with him. [sad} [scared] [worried]

2 3/4 hours to go

'It always seems to kick off when he is sent away for something'

Makes sense, no one likes being punished.

Suggestions please?

I don't think I do apart from save punishments/sending to his room for when you can't think of any alternative.