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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

15 month old just wanders off when we go out and wont stay with me. Any tips.

10 replies

jogym · 04/02/2008 12:16

My 15 month DD loves to get out and I don't want to strap her into her pram everywhere we go. We go swimming lessons with DD1 Tuesdays and the whole half hour all I do is wander round after her up and down the whole time following her wherever she goes. I can't even get to watch my DD1 in the spectator area and I can't even help her get dried or dressed. We tried yesterday putting reins on her while we were out at a shopping centre but that didn't really work as she was just pulling us in all directions. She wont stay with us. She sees something and away she goes. If she's in the trolley/pram she's o.k but yesterday she slept for a fair bit so we thought letting her walk while we were out would tire her out a bit. I know this is quite normal but come Tuesday on the way home and having to make dinner when we get back I am fit for nothing. Any suggestions.

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violetsky · 04/02/2008 12:37

You are the one in charge not your baby, you are the one who has to keep her safe. She has no choice really, she stays with you, uses reins, or stays in the pushchair. Put your foot down.

Original poster

jogym · 04/02/2008 12:41

Well in the pushchair at the shopping centre is not a problem. Ever since she has started walking that's what she wants to do when given the opportunity. Not sure if when swimming on Tuesday in the pushchair would work. I think she would just cry and struggle the whole half hour (quite embarrasing in front of the other mums). And if she's not in the pushchair I don't think I could sit and hold her down!

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TheHonEnid · 04/02/2008 12:43

I wuold let her wander and keep an eye then force her into teh buggy so you can dry and dress your dd1

Or keep her in buggy some lessosn with a drink and a book or toy

agree that YOU are in charge and unless you want her to get runover you will need to force her into the buggy sometimes

Original poster

jogym · 04/02/2008 12:53

I think what I will do is have her in the pushchair and try to keep her amused for a bit and when she gets restless let her do her wandering and then back in the pushchair when DD1 comes out of the pool. Will give that a go. Don't want to put her in pushchair the whole time as this might confuse her as to why it's not o.k. anymore.

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violetsky · 04/02/2008 13:00

But the problem is, most swimming pools galleries would be quite easy to climb over and then there is quite a big fall the other end. In that respect, I have always felt that swimming galleries and toddlers is a very dangerous combo. I would categorically put her in the push chair while you eldest daughter was drying, you don't say how old dd1 is but you infer she could do with your help, so dd2 would without doubt be strapped in her pushchair at this point if she was mine.

TheHonEnid · 04/02/2008 13:04

yes not fair on dd1 to not be able to fuss over her after her swimming

I lie to dd2 'yes of course I saw you jump off the diving board you were brill' when really I have spent the whoel time with one eye on dd3

Weegle · 04/02/2008 13:20

How long since she learnt to walk?

It seems to me that there is a period of 3-4 months after they learn to walk where walking is literally a compulsion. They can't stop. So in this respect it is a phase, it will ease off a little.

But I also find with DS who is uber-independent and wanders off without a backward glance, that in a public area he generally won't stray THAT far from me. So if I don't follow he won't go as far (generally), if you see what I mean. Obviously a swimming pool is a different case but most pools have a play pen at the side - I would put her in there for part of the lesson with some toys. Alternatively bribe her to stay near you by making sure she is hungry and give her a snack during the class.

Tommy · 04/02/2008 13:24

I woudl say reins and strap her into the pushchair when you need her to be restrained. It's hardly torture is it? Save the walking for when you are in no hurry or you are somehwere completely safe where it doens't matter if she runs off

flack · 04/02/2008 13:37

Make dinner during the day before (or even night before) you go out and then you only have to heat it up when you get back in.

Otherwise when I have been in this situ with a toddler, I did just spend the time wandering around after them except for key moments when they had to be strapped in (like helping a child get dressed). But if your DD1 can get herself changed and dressed, then why not let her?

Original poster

jogym · 04/02/2008 14:19

DD2 has been walking now for about 2 months. Is on the move the whole day near. DD1 is 8!! but she is so slow i.e likes to stand with her towel round her for a bit and is that busy looking round her at other people so like to give her a helping hand. The problem with the swimming is in the spectator area it is on floor level near so DD2 can slip under a part and it brings her to the pool and if she goes towards changing areas there is a chance she will go through to the pool that way also. Afterwards is all rush rush so will have to get my act together though have to say that on this day everyone tends to get microwave food. Tut tut!

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