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Neighbours threatening behaviour

6 replies

Hanabhatti · 30/12/2022 20:49

Hi
i really need some advice and help.
Myself, my disabled husband and 5 year old daughter live in a two bedroom maisonette house and it has been few months since we have moved into the place. We have a neighbour living under us an elderly lady with her 40 year old son plus they have a dog. It’s the old lady property. We have been getting complaints and complaints regarding noises and their dog getting scared. The house walls and floor is so thin that noises go downstairs and plus we also hear their noises. We try to keep the level of noise going downstairs by making sure by 8pm my daughter isn’t running around or jumping but still not good enough. There is very little I can do in terms of noise going downstairs she a child and acting like what a child should do. I don’t want her to stop her play but also don’t want the neighbours keeping coming at our throats because of their scared dog. we can’t freely do things in our home or allow my daughter to dance to music. It isn’t really fair I have of say to my daughter don’t dance, don’t sing loud, walk lightly not heavy footed, and don’t jump the dog get scared. It is totally not my daughters fault and it’s just how the building is made. She a child and being a child and I can’t really stop stop. My husband has spoken to her couple to try to understand this and we said to her sorry but we can’t stop her from being a child and running around the house, but what we do is after 8pm we stop her from doing the running etc. we trying our level best but it seems to me it’s not enough.

her son who lives with her has a dog. The dog has got cancer. He shakes with noises or seeing another dog.

now my husband has received a threatening message to say if his (homeowners son) dog has a heart attack he will be having a very different conversation and so on. I can’t do anything about the dog shaking and getting scared with sounds. One thing I don’t get is the dog is scared of other dogs but she still takes the dog out for walks. Doesn’t the dog come across another dog on her walk? I have seen it for myself the dogs shakes and get scared looking at the other dog but that doesn’t stop her taking the dog out for walks. Why put pressure and stress on us. Plus Where was the dog when the son was banging so loudly on the front door that we all woke up middle of the night. Didn’t he think of his dog getting scared with loud noises?. When he slams the doors loudly doesn’t he think of the dog getting scared.

we hardly make that much noise. We don’t have guest over, we don’t party late nights or put on loud music. So why pointing issues on my daughter who is being a child and doing what a child should do.

since we have moved into our this house our very own first property.I have had nothing but stress and anxiety from the neighbours downstairs. I feel I can’t do anything in my house. Don’t feel safe and comfortable in my own house knowing they be coming at my door and sending threatening messages. I try my best I be kind to them send them gifts and cake but still they have issues with us. I can’t move to another house can’t afford it. What should I do in this matter?

I hope I made sense and explained well.

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PritiPatelsMaker · 31/12/2022 11:33

That's such an incredibly difficult situation for you.

Just wondering if the maisonette has carpets and if it's rented or owned?

Giggorata · 31/12/2022 12:08

The bottom line is that you are allowed to live a normal life, with normal household noises in your own home.
(I assume you have carpets or rugs down)

It is a shame about the dog, but if it was my dog and it was that fearful and ill, I would be putting extra soundproofing on my ceiling and calming the dog as much as I could, playing music, medication, etc.

I would approach whoever owns the building, if possible jointly with the neighbour, to discuss additional soundproofing measures.

You sound very nice and thoughtful, and your attempts at appeasing your neighbour sound as though he now thinks of you as someone he can threaten, without repercussions.
It is probably time to involve the council, as you are feeling threatened by him, as they can act in neighbour disputes.
Save any written threatening communications, and document any conversations.
It is really time to tell him tough shit, you have done all that you reasonably can. Ensure he knows that any threats will be reported to the council and or the police.

Oohahhalittlebitmore · 31/12/2022 14:34

sorry but we can’t stop her from being a child and running around the house

Tbf you can. walking footsteps would be a lot lighter than running & DC are able to not run inside at school so can manage it at home. You also said you make sure she isn’t jumping from 8pm. Jumping would make a heck of a racket. I wouldn’t let my DC jump around upstairs, the noise down in the sitting room would be horrendous and would feels like the ceilings was at risk of falling in.

Do you have carpets? Floorboards or laminate would mean the noise is a lot louder for the tenants below you. Normal living sounds are fair enough but I don’t think someone jumping above you would create a ‘normal’ amount of sound tbh.

Hanabhatti · 31/12/2022 17:48

It’s carpeted. Tbh she doesn’t really jump a lot. The lady downstairs has also mentioned to me that even when we walk she can hear where we going. We not heavy build. It’s not like we are stumping and walking at the same time. We are trying are best with the level of noise going downstairs and i do say to my daughter throughout the day not to do certain things that will make the noise go downstairs. Nothing else I can do really

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Hanabhatti · 31/12/2022 21:43

Aww thank you for your advice. I am considering like you said to report to council. 🙏🏻 thank you

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Hanabhatti · 31/12/2022 21:48

It has carpet and we just brought the place but the land and the building itself is owned by a company if that makes sense. It’s a leasehold property.

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