Hi there
I am very worried about my daughter's relationship. She is 23 and lives at home with us. She started a relationship with a man from work who is 27. He apparently owns a house about 40 mins away from us but is very rarely there. He is either with his mother who lives about 2 hours' away or at our house.
The relationship started in February 2022 and since then there has always been a difficulty. He is very good company and it is difficult not to like him when he is here. However he is over familiar and rather takes over the house. He cooks alot and says things like 'I love your kitchen - it is so well stocked". He is presumptious and I often find he has just stayed again. Once he slept in a spare room as he was snoring and was even wearing my son (who has left home) dressing gown!
Last year he stayed at our house for every night bar one in April. I finally lost my temper and it was tricky for a while. In July I spoke to him and said 'let's start again" and it is about balance. Tried to say he was welcome but not all the time etc.etc. He said he understood but it has crept up again. He takes over - it sounds silly but things like cooking a full breakfast for himself and y daughter but no-one else, lighting the fire in the lounge to have some "chill out time, playing games and drinking beer" (my husband and I are meanwhile doing jobs around the house)
When I have tried to talk to my daughter about this she gets very defensive and says I don't like him. Last week she cancelled 2 things she was doing as, at the last minute, he was coming to stay.
Yesterday she told me he may be coming for Xmas and staying a few days. I questioned this and, again, it all got unpleasant.
My husband says he agrees with me but we are both at a loss as to what to do.
Any tips?