Crying whenever baby is awake: high needs baby - help!

[AJandCece]

I think don't think I'm looking for advice here, more just solidarity or experiences from people who've been though/survived the same..?

DD is 7.5weeks and has cried whenever she's awake since the day she was born. The only times she doesn't cry are when she's asleep or feeding (BF).
I know it's not "colic" or even PURPLE crying period because it's been from day 1 and it starts the moment she wakes up in the morning until she nurses to sleep at night, not just in the afternoon/evening. She doesn't have any digestive distress or symptoms of allergies/intolerance, so it's not that.
Me and OH count the moments that she is happy (well, not crying) literally in minutes. We are lucky if we clock up an hour total in the day.

I know she's still very young, but this feels like far more than 4th Trimester stuff as she isn't comforted by holding. The only thing that makes her calm is feeding,/comfort nursing, which she does almost constantly (not growth spurt/cluster feeding as this had been the case every day since day1).

It's so hard to see other babies be happy and be able to do sensory things. I just spend my day at such high alert trying to prevent the crying rather than enjoying her as a baby.

So, yeah....I'm not quite sure what I'm hoping for here...maybe if this sounds familiar to anyone....?

Thank you in advance if anyone can help. Motivation to keep going every day feels in short supply..

If baby cries a lot, it's important to first try and figure out the cause of the crying. Is the baby hungry? Tired? uncomfortable?

If you've already tried to determine the cause of the crying and you still can't figure it out, it might be helpful to keep a diary of when the baby cries, what he or she is doing when they cry, and how long they cry for. This can help you to better understand your baby's patterns and needs.

If you decide that your baby is crying for no obvious reason, it's ok to let them cry for a few minutes.

You've had some very good advice from Willson.

I'd just like to say that my DC1 was like this and it turned out to be Tongue Tie.

Have a read of these symptoms and see if any are similar to what you're experiencing

My baby was like this.

My HV spotted it and suggested silent reflux.

After gaviscon prescription she was a different baby. After some online research, I also thought she could have a cows milk allergy so I stopped eating dairy and wow it made a huuuuuge difference.

It isn't normal for babies to cry 24/7.

Thank you @willsonwanda for your suggestions. Your point about keeping a note if when she cries might really be something. LO has a few seemingly content minutes (1 or 2) and then her face/movements/breathing suddenly changes and we move into meltdown. This can happen at any time or holding positions etc, but I can certainly describe it in these terms to our HV/Doc.

@PritiPatelsMaker Thank you so much for your reply and that link about Tongue-ties. I will get HV on organising a closer investigation this week. Xo

@Carbon12 Thank you so much for your reply. I don't think it is CMPA, but I'm going to eliminate dairy from today and see if we get any difference. I'll also get HV to investigate the silent reflux.
I'm not convinced it is these things, but I need to try to work on something 🤔

Thank you so much for your reply and that link about Tongue-ties. I will get HV on organising a closer investigation this week. Xo

Just to warn you that it's unlikely that your HV will know much about TT, especially how to spot one unless she's exceptional.

You are more likely to have success with a Tongue Tie Practitioner.

I've seen that you are thinking of cutting out dairy. Kellymom has a very useful article on BFing and dairy here

Hi my now 5 month old did exactly this for no reason whatsoever until he was about 12 weeks. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there. He is still high needs but doesn't cry at every awakening moment. Xx

@scrabbledabbl Thank you so much for your reply! This does give me hope that something will change.. I feel like something has got to give! She does have some content moments, but it's literally minutes (if that) before the crying takes over her. We can't find any reason at all and she's otherwise healthy.
I'm now worried for her milestones/development because she spends all her time crying, she's not getting anything out of tummy time etc.

I know logically that there will be a time where I have an energetic little girl on my hands, but that seems so far away and it's so upsetting when all she does is 😢.

Thank you again for taking the time to reply to us! Xoxo

@AJandCece I promise you it will get better I felt the exact same as you at the exact age and thought it would never end but write to me on here when it does 😀

Hi there. I have this problem currently. My 3rd baby is 15w. She is exclusively breast fed. We tried gaviscon for reflux as she was bringing up her milk after feeds but this didnt work. Then dr prescribed omeprazole. This has stopped her reflux but not the crying! I also am concerened about her development as she gets little pleasure from such things as tummy time and sensory toys with her constant crying. We may get minutes of smiles and a good mood from her before it begins again. I have thought about intollerance. Will changing her feed help but i am scared and reluctant to stop bf. She only seems content when nursing or suckling on me.
How have you got on? Any update or resolution?
Thanks!

@Maybabies Hello!
If your LO is 15wks we are the same.

OK, so. At 10wks I started using the Huckleberry app to track the time periods where she wasn't crying (I used the 'indoor play' timer). Very very slowly (week by week) the content periods seemed to be getting longer.
Don't get me wrong, she still loses it in the car (that's fun..) or whenever there is a minor inconvenience, but it wasn't quite so intense. However the crying/moaning has picked back up again now we are in leap4, which is disheartening.

In terms of development, I have NO idea how she did it, but she's able to hold her head on tummy time and is really close to sitting up. Basically, try not to over think that part. As my Doc said, "nobody didn't learn to walk because they didn't do tummy time". She still isn't very interested in many toys, but physically she'll be fine.

In terms of changing to bottle feeding/formula, I can't help you there. Madam is so stroppy, she gets hysterical if I try to offer a bottle, so I couldn't do that even if I wanted to. But by 15wks, if they will take a bottle ok, they should be able to move back and forth between the two so you don't have to stop BF.

I don't know what your other children were like, but as she's my first, it's so hard to be at groups or with friends who have these babies that just happily lay on the floor and play, while I'm doing everything just to keep her from having a meltdown.

Sending MUCH support and solidarity

@Maybabies We also have the 'only content when nursing or sucking' issue too. The comfort suckling is the ONLY way she will go to sleep at night. We bed share so she suckles to sleep then I have to roll away if I can, but it takes hours sometimes.

Hi @AJandCece
This is exactly me. I too co-sleep (safely). I have to if i want any rest. I have just spoken to HV who reccommended we ask doc about increasing the amount of omeprazole shes having.

I have wondered about the wonder weeks, however she has always been like this since birth, there is no let up. I might get 10 mins of her smiling but then crying again.

My other 2 were not like this. My eldest was bottle fed and on the clock every 2 hours wanted a feed. My middle was breastfed on demand but she would never bring up a drop of milk and we would have periods of 'play' time.

Just know that you are not alone in this. Hopefully it will get easier!

@Maybabies I can't put much stock in WonderWeeeks because she has been like this from birth too. But I was hoping it was that considering we were starting to see tiny signs of improvement.

The biggest thing thats helped me has been to realise she's got a high needs temprement, and I'm not alone. From my research about 10% of people have this temprement style, and I've just got to go with it. She'll always be hard work, but one day she'll be a 5 year old who can communicate and enjoy things, not just cry!

There is a "fussy baby" FB group - find it and join. It's given me such hope to know we are not alone with these difficult babies. Some really are just harder work.

Oh OP I totally empathise! I wouldn’t say every waking moment is crying but my baby is quite high needs in that he needs pretty much constant interaction or else he gets bored. He’s 6 months old now and when he was younger he would pretty much cry every waking moment. As time has gone on he has gotten better. He is now very happy in the mornings so I save my most important tasks and I make sure I have a shower and get dressed as early as I can because it gets more and more difficult to keep him happy as the day goes on.

I would say he was pretty much on the edge of crying all day up until he was about 5 months old and has recently got easier. I have to feed him to sleep too (I Bf him lying down and we semi-co sleep/bed share)

I have in fact just had a strop with my DH who says he’s tired when I asked him to take the baby. I was like, you’re tired? You need a break? I DO NOT GET A BREAK! I can’t just go to the toilet, I can’t just eat a sandwich without either trying to entertain the baby or he shouts/cries at me!

He has always been hard work since birth and I never did understand why people told me that breastfeeding a newborn was lovely and they would get snacks and just watch box sets all day. Not for me. I would breastfeed then deal with crying episodes for hours on a cycle. He is now starting to enjoy tummy time and funnily enough when I take him to baby groups he is the best behaved little baby. I think he just gets so bored and needs things to do and see constantly!

@AJandCece
Thank you for this. It has reasurred me that its not just my baby!
I will definitley check out your link :) xx

@AJandCece going through something similar! Can you give us a update?