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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Toddler insists on running around cafes

13 replies

pormenjus · 02/12/2022 01:06

Hi!
19 month old DS
My mum pals often congregate in cafes in the daytime with their little ones.
However since my DS started walking, I've found that there's no point in me taking him to these kinds of places as all he wants to do is walk around - he won't sit in a chair, he just wants to move around and explore, he's totally fearless and will happily walk up to other diners/try and get out the exit/etc. Gets very angry if I pick him up to bring him back to the table.
If I do go to a cafe, there's no point in ordering a drink, as I spend the whole time chasing him around.
The other little ones there seem a bit happier to sit around for a bit at least.
Am I doing something wrong? What is normal for his age? Will I ever get to finish a coffee again? Thanks!

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Catladyagain · 02/12/2022 07:26

You might not fnish a coffee again for a while! Kids need to move their bodies and sitting still is the last skill we learn. I find cafes are pretty rubbish places for small kids on the whole unfortunately. Shame as I love a coffee. How about proposing folk come to yours or find a community hub where you don't worry about the kids moving around. I've always let my child roam so long as he's not a danger to anyone or being irritating to anyone. Plus let them move and you'll find their sleep is better.

PritiPatelsMaker · 02/12/2022 07:58

Is there a cafe with a play area or could you suggest meeting somewhere like soft play?

Will he sit of you give him lots of food? Things that are slow to eat like a box or raisins or dry cheerios that they have to pick up might entertain him enough to let you have a drink.

Agree with the PP too who said just invite them around to yours

RosieLee2019 · 02/12/2022 15:34

I sympathise, my DS 24months is exactly the same. We have literally given up on eating out anywhere with him unless there’s a designated play area!

Original poster

pormenjus · 02/12/2022 16:31

RosieLee2019 · 02/12/2022 15:34

I sympathise, my DS 24months is exactly the same. We have literally given up on eating out anywhere with him unless there’s a designated play area!

Is it normal do you think? I worry it's some sort of attention problem

OP posts:

RosieLee2019 · 02/12/2022 16:41

pormenjus · 02/12/2022 16:31

Is it normal do you think? I worry it's some sort of attention problem

Show quote history

Well my DS has always been more active/restless than his peers… even as a 4 month old I remember having lunch with nct friends and their babies sat quietly on their laps while mine wasn’t happy unless he was being held/jiggled/walked around/etc. I think it’s just a personality thing? Normal, but at the extreme end of normal iyswim !

Catladyagain · 02/12/2022 19:16

Totally normal! He'll just be the one running around at the birthday parties then playing in all the sports teams then running a company!! Some humans have awesome energy. I know its knackering but its probably something to celebrate. X

Kaiken · 02/12/2022 21:34

How are his meals done at home? If he never learnt to sit for eating, he won't be doing it in a cafe.

Start teaching small amount of time in which he needs to be seated. Whilst reading a book, even watching tv. Any time he stands up, you turn tv off.
Boys can be active, but you can teach that there are certain settings in which he shouldn't. In cafe, on footpath , .... . In other settings, such as parks and play ground it is perfectly fine.
If you have a wild home, you will have a wild everything.

ZebraKid71 · 04/12/2022 18:59

Totally normal, at around 1 my mum group realised cafes needed to be replaced with soft play!

Catladyagain · 04/12/2022 22:24

I would personally avoid using the TV to teach sitting behaviour... you'll have a child who never stands up from the TV even when they need to. Kids would be healthier if they learned the opposite- that when their body says enough that they recognise it in themselves. Its extremely young to be told off for moving their body... really not sure what message they will learn around stopping moving at this age. But I take Kaiken's point and I think there's a balance.

Kaiken · 05/12/2022 20:42

TV was an example to teach sitting because it is part of those activities done whilst sitting down. In real life and later age, we sit down to eat, to read a book, to watch tv. It is also a way to train attention.

CherryBomb87 · 16/12/2022 18:34

I think the problem here is your friend's babies seeing unrealistic expectations - at least that's what I tell myself when mine is the only one walking up to other customers saying mmm, cake 😂

I remember being so relieved when some friends came round for a play date and within half an hour one was climbing on the windowsill and the other was on the kitchen counter. Their parents were mortified but I felt all of a sudden so much better 😂

showysnowy · 17/12/2022 02:32

I went out for a coffee and muffin with my 3.5 yo the other day which was a first since he was a baby as I used to avoid cafes and restaurants like a plague with ds as he wouldn't sit. I'm hoping once his bored of exploring one day, you will enjoy that coffee and hoping that day is sooner for you.

StillMedusa · 19/12/2022 23:19

Soft play with a cafe is your friend here
I look after my toddler grandson several days a week, and there is no way he'd sit quietly at a cafe... however after an hour's run round in soft play or on the trampolines, THEN we can sit nicely for a drink and snack !

Also he gets to see his little friends and I get some adult company!

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