2 year old kicked out of pre school and new one has ghosted us.

[Fairylightsandstuff]

My son who is 3 in feb has recently been kicked out of pre school.

Reasons given were that he was aggressive towards other kids and bit one of the staff members (they were trying to get something in his mouth) his speech is delayed and he still puts everything in his mouth so to be fair to them they did a lot to try and make it safe for him, they removed things that most 2 and 3 year old would be safe around, put in extra security measures so he couldn’t escape, gave him extra attention etc.

We talked a lot about him and made plans, I saw the health visitor, got him referred to salt, heard nothing and then I went to the doctors who has referred us to the cdc, I got a call from them a couple of weeks ago saying they’d received the referral but not heard anything yet. They were waiting to hear about funding to get an extra person in to supervise him but he must’ve been such hard work that they told me they couldn’t cope with him anymore before they even got it.

We found a new Montessori pre school which is all outdoor based and he went for a trial day there last week and they called me at lunchtime to say he was a real joy to have and they were happy to take him. When i went to pick him up they said they’d spoken to the other pre school and they’d had a long chat about him and now they were looking back at the day differently and worrying that once he gets comfortable he might behave the same as he did there. They didn’t say he couldnt start there though so since then I’ve emailed, whatsapped and rang them and not heard anything back!

I feel so sorry for my son, he is a handful and there’s obviously other issues there but I don’t know what to do. Problem is my 3yo dd goes to the original pre school and loves it there, I take her every morning and my son is heartbroken he’s not allowed in. Dh wants to take her out and complain to ofsted but she goes to the local school in September where all her friends will be going and i feel like it’d be better to wait.

Does anyone have any advice? Do children who might have additional needs just not go to pre school?

Hopeful bump!

It seems to me that if there are such difficulties, it is better to study with the child at home. For example, my sister did not go to a preschool group (she felt bad there, was stressed and had tantrums). My parents and I gave her a good education. There are a lot of different free educational services now. For example various printable learning games like these wunderkiddy.com/category/3-4-years Now my sister is already in school and reads the best in the class. He loves mathematics very much. So there are problems that cannot be solved. The main thing is not to give up!

I'm really sorry - it must be heartbreaking to see. My son was also speech delayed and it can be a red flag for other issues and closely linked to behaviour problems and issues. I mean, if you can't make yourself understood you will be frustrated.

I don't think a child should be discriminated against because they are behaving in a way that could be because of a delay. I also don't think the first nursery had any business passing judgement on your child without letting you know. I might see if you can get reduced hours - maybe talk to your council etc too. Push for the SALT - see your GP and say it's preventing your child getting the early years support he's entitled to. Ideally you need a nursery who can work with you - if you child has any additional needs or SEN then they are being discriminatory.