Partner says I don't have control

[lancslass17]

Hi,

Partner says I don't have control of our 4 year old. ( I do agree sometimes and sometimes I think he's expecting too much)

I try my best but sometimes I can't get him to listen /do as he's told ( especially just after school, he's 4 and started in September) other times he's lovely.
I'm drained with the constant battles with DS and being judged by DP. How do I do better?

Is DP the natural father of DS?

What particularly is bothering him about DS' behaviour?

At 4, in the first term of school, some misbehaving is normal, especially in the last few weeks before Christmas.

Making sure he has some early nights and some down time might help.

Often you can feel a need to keep them busy and do lots with them but they really do need some time just to play at home, without screens.

If it's worst after school, those ones at least are probably that he's tired and has nothing left after keeping it together all day at school. I'd try to keep the after school routine consistent and undemanding. Does he need a snack? A chance to run around? Downtime with a quiet activity, colouring, stories, a bit of TV? I've gone as far as making sure tea is easy to eat during exhausted phases (or been prepared to help more, as if they were a younger child), same with getting undressed and into pyjamas. If they're so tired that trying to get their socks off is going to lead to tears, it's not worth it – I'll do the socks and we'll work on self care skills another day.

All great suggestions skkye