Will someone please hold my hand through separation anxiety?

[PerkinWarbeck]

DD (10mo) has been at nursery 2 days each week since she was 6.5mo. She has thus far not looked back when I left the room.

We're happy with the nursery, and she seems to be enjoying herself there when we collect her.

But this morning....... She wailed like a banshee when I handed her over. I made the failed mistake of stopping to comfort her, and then we had a repeat performance. Apparently she's fine now, but I would really welcome any advice on how best to manage this. I was in tears on the bus and I really can't be doing with fixing my panda eyes in the loos at work every morning.

sending you hug's

It's so hard when they do this, dd started nursery in september, she was fine for a week and then she started clinging to my leg and crying, i ended up crying and then when i was outside i looked through the window to see her laughing and playing. Dd took a few months to settle in and not cry in the mornings. At one point i was so upset i got dh to take her a few times .

thanks for your kind words Marne.

anyone got any ideas on how to ease ourselves through this?

plleeeeasse?

My daughter started this after a few weeks at nursery (though she was 3 at the time) I know how hard it is. Could you take her a little earlier and hang about outside to be reassured that she has calmed down?

If you see that it only takes a matter of minutes until she settles it will help a lot. (It is hard to believe when someone tells you on the phone!)

thanks lomond. I am dreading tomorrow, TBH. The idea about sticking around is a good idea.

Does anyone else have any pearls of wisdom for me? And how long has this lasted in your experience?

It is hard, DS even wails when I leave him with DH to go to work . (he doesn't cry when left at the cms, but I think we are boring in comparison). I just try and get out as quickly as possible.

Hi perkin, I had a similar performance from DS (nearly 9 months) when I left him at the gym creche today and with my sister at the weekend. This is a boy who never EVER cries and till now has been happier to be with anyone than his own (boring) parents! So lots of sympathy to you, it broke my heart but his carer said to say goodbye as usual and leave. I did peep through the window after 5 minutes and his carer was giving him a cuddle and he had stopped crying, apparently he was quite clingy with her but
OK once I'd left. Little monkey! Would also suggest you have a peep through the window to reassure yourself all is well, I guarantee your DD will be happy as larry!

Perkin, I'm going through the same thing with my dd (10mths). The best advice I've had is to go in the nursery smiling and chatting, say a big friendly hello to the nursery staff (so dd doesn't pick up on any anxiety on your part), hand her over, give her a kiss, say 'Mummy will be back for you later' then leave.

I normally hang around in the corridor until she stops - when I drop her off, it's usually time for milk so they give her a bottle and generally she's forgotten about me by that stage.

I know it's hard, dd still cries and clings onto me when I enter the nursery but I think this is better than what I used to do which was hang around, give her her bottle myself, try and get her to play with the other kids and toys then leave. She was anxious and crying most of that time as she knew I was going to leave at some point.

Hope that helps, hang in there, I'm told it will pass...

I get DH to take our son in when he does this and then have the nice part of picking him up

Seriously though, at that age if you hand her to nursery staff member with a rice cake and they hold her for a bit and look out of the window or similar she should be fine. The staff should be able to reassure you.

It is hard just when you thought she was settled at nursery but this phase doesn't usually seem to last very long.

Good luck

aahh, thanks you lot .

she was her usual cheerful self when I picked her up, so I feel a bit better. I'm going to try and get to nursery earlier tomorrow, so I've got time to lurk around the corner.