My 3.5 year old has forgotten how to go to the loo - help!

[MrsWadds]

I've posted this on the behaviour board aswell as the potty training one because I think this is a behavioral issue.

DS1 came out of nappies in June last year and was brilliant - dry dry dry - YIPEE. A couple of months later he started to 'dribble'. This has now been going on for about 6 months and I'm really don't know how to get through to him. He ignores the signs of needing a wee and even sometmes ignores me asking him to go or even denies he needs a wee and the a few minutes later, he will be wet. He's even getting sore where he is so constantly wet. I've had days where I've had to change his pants and trousers 7 times!

I've tried reward charts, bribery, getting angry, talking nicely, guilt trips, taking favorite toys away - nothing is getting through. Luckily we don't have a problem with poo.

We've had medical tests to rule out any problems and these showed nothing was wrong.

Today he couldn't get my immediate attention to join in his game so he just sat and peed on the carpet.

Pleeease, has anyone got any advice - me and DH are finding it incredibly draining and tiring and frustrating.

(I'm new to to this but I've managed to use a couple of acronyms - impressed?!)

Has there been any changes to daily routine, when did this start, is he at nursery yet or any changes to family life...ie new baby, bereavement etc He came out of nappies june last year, when did start nursery.

Not sure if it helps but I think some children are a bit lazy/forgetful.
My DS1 is just 3 and has been potty trained for about 6 months but sometimes I will ask him and he says no and then just stands there having a wee!!! other times he creates merry hell when you ask him to go but then after a bit of a falling out produces a massive wee!

I think consistant reminding is needed - put him on the toilet before you go out, and apx 45 min after a drink - it's kind of going back to potty training I guess.

Good luck.
PS what do you use to remove the wee smell effectivley?

Hi,

BITCAT - He's been in nursery since 6 months old and has always been very happy there. He started wetting in about August. He has a little brother who is now 20 months old. No bereavement. Today has been horrendous, 6 wet pairs of pants and trousers. I'm not convinced there's not a medical problem - it's almost like he doens't know it's happening. Today he wet twice in 30 mins. I've been reading up on Oxybutnin medication and this lists all his problems - might go back to doc on this. Spent most of this afternoon in tears! It's so frustrating.

PippyLS - I just find the smell disappears with normal machine washing with clothes and thankfully haven't had exessive wee on carpets etc although the Carpet Power trigger spray is very good.

I only asked because sometimes a disruption in daily routine can set them off the tracks slightly. I know how frustating it is i had the same thing happen to me!! Only advice i can offer if its not medical is to keep your cool, and i know it's really hard not to get angry!! I suspect it may be behavioural, as you said he couldn't get your attention so he peed on the floor. Be consistent, and maybe consider some training pants, would cut out some of the stress for you with all the washing etc..and at least he can still pull them up and down. Have you asked nursery if they will assist you with this, most good ones will be happy to!! It sounds like attention seeking to me, i'm no expert but thats what sounds like from what you've said

Hi, Had a much better day today . The HV said to go back to pullups for a while just to give us all a break..she said don't treat him like he is being naughty because we can't be sure it's entirely behavioural - she is going to check it out with a local clinic that deals with this sort of problem. Nursery are excellent and never have a problem with anything I ask of them so I know I will get their full support - anyway, they have far more experience of dealing with these problems than I do.I find that whatever he drinks goes thru him so quickly, this afternoon at a seafront cafe he drank quite a lot of water and about 20 mins later had wet himself (but it was the only accident today so it hasn't bothered me). I think we can even have a smiley today

Glad to hear a better day.... thanks for the tip re- power spray - had a few accidents in the living room and it's a bit wiffy when you get close can't always blame it on the dog!

At least you have good support and i'm sure it will get better!! Sounds like your on the right track!!