Mum of 2 year old at breaking point

[OverdueFirstTimeMama]

please help, I am looking for advice and don’t feel as though I have anyone I can talk to due to feeling embarrassed.

my DS is 2, he is extremely bright for his age, speech and understanding is very advanced. His behaviour is becoming out of control and I am so close to breaking point 😔

he has always been a very lively, curious boy, never been one to sit still for very long and always on the move. He loves to make people laugh.

lately his tantrums are out of control. He is quick to get out of them and calm down but he rules our house! I am such an anxious person and I avoid seeing family and friends if I can as I panic about how he will behave. I have noted friends looking as if to say he’s so naughty, their children seem so tame and well behaved in comparison 😢 am I doing something wrong?

Some examples of his behaviour include:

• telling his daddy to go away, only wants mummy. Literally screams as if we were hurting him if his daddy is to do the simplest of tasks (get him from his room, wipe his face, change his bum) everything is Mummy at the minute
• Demanding - food, tv, songs and kicking off if we have chosen ‘wrong’.
• wants to do everything himself and will shout and scream if we try to help him in situations that could be dangerous eg walking down stairs
• acts absolutely wild if we are in company, running, shrieking, jumping, screaming in excitement but to the point it’s too much
• lately will bite furniture such a cushions, bedding, couch (not often, but notably a few times now)
• going to shops is such an anxiety trigger for me as he just wants to run off or it can result in a complete meltdown (not every time) and I see other people looking in disgust
• very fussy eater. If he doesn’t like what we give him he will have a complete meltdown

he is very strong-willed and always has been. I am struggling so much with his behaviour as I feel it’s near impossible to soft parent him and not shout. All I seem to do is tell him no or stop that, I feel like I am failing. Everything seems like an ordeal and a bribe, getting dressed, brushing teeth, changing bum..

please can anyone relate or share some advice for how to make things better? Is this normal?? X

I'm so sorry that you're struggling @OverdueFirstTimeMama.

Is it ok if I ask you some questions so that I can get a better idea of what's going on?

Firstly, what's his sleep like? Is there any chance he could be overtired?

Next, is he getting plenty if exercise? I think it can be easy to underestimate how much exercise some toddlers actually need.

And lastly, does he go to childcare and if so, do they have any concerns?

@PritiPatelsMaker thank you so much for replying.

of course!

he sleeps really well 11 hours a night, but naps can be few and far between. I do often think he is overtired.

I think you may be right and maybe he does need more exercise. On weekends we do take him out as often as possible but with how much energy he has, maybe he needs more.

his time is split in the week between going to childcare and being at home. Childcare have said they think he just a typical little boy who is very strong willed and to speak to HV if I am concerned xx

Ok so if he had problems napping, I'd work on that first. Have you tried the No Cry Nap Solution?

Definitely get him out more but if he runs, he needs reins. Perhaps he'd like swimming lessons? That usually wears them out

And I think that's fairly sensible advice from his Childcare. I'd contact the HV and ask them to assess him using the ASQ Ages & Stages.

It might also be worth doing the MChat Test before you speak to the HV, just to see what the risk of ASD might be.

@PritiPatelsMaker thank you. I have completed the Mchat test, he only scored one. My thoughts were more towards does he have ADHD, I don’t think he is autistic.

I will contact our HV and go from there. Thank you for replying and for your advice!