Should DH and I plan a honeymoon with or without our son?

[AnaCav]

Hey everyone,

So DH and I had originally planned our big wedding for 2020 (we married in 2019 in a civil, intimate ceremony, but the big religious wedding was planned for 2020). This awful pandemic hit, we postponed it, decided to prioritize having a baby and now have a wonderful baby boy who is 4 months and half. Our wedding is now scheduled for July 2023, and our baby will be exactly 1 year old.

My question is about the honeymoon. DH is so excited about the prospect of traveling alone with me for 10 very romantic days. I, however, am completely torn. It would be the first time I would be apart from my baby. He is such a happy baby, I'm scared that he will somehow be traumatized and feel abandoned. That it will somehow affect his development or personality long term.

On the other hand, my parents live right below DH and me, my son is so used to see them everyday and be with them, they are young grandparents and I know my son will be brilliantly well-taken care of. I also don't want to disappoint my husband. (Of course I would love a romantic trip to Italy as well in normal circumstances).

Still, I know my son will deeply miss us and I'm afraid that if we are apart these many days with him only 1 year old, we will mess him up. And that is a risk I'm not willing to take.

What do you think? Should I go to a romantic honeymoon with DH and leave my boy with my parents for 10 days? Or should our honeymoon include our baby and just travel with him? Am I being ott in my concerns?

TIA for any advice or ideas.

I know that some people are quite happy for them to have sleep overs or weekends away from their DC from a very early age but I know I wasn't and at one there is no way I could have left them for 10 days. I think your DH is being unfair on you.

The easiest option would be to compromise- go alone for 5 days.
I’ve never been apart from my children for more than 3 nights. For me personally 5 days would be manageable but 10 days would be horrendous.

Or go for a long romantic weekend away straight after wedding and then a holiday with baby. Best of both worlds if you can afford it.

Thanks everyone for your feedback! It's been really helpful

Just decided there is no way I will be apart from my baby. We are either bringing him with us or bringing him and my Parents - that way we could sometimes have some hours alone while my Parents take care of him. I know DH is very appreciative of my parents' help since DC's birth.

Just said this to DH and he understood and agreed with my points. He just wants me to not even be anxious about this. He thinks he prefers my parents to come along.

So glad that you've voiced your concerns and he's listened and you have a plan