4 year old misbehaving at school

[AnonAnon2]

Hi,

My 4 year old started school in September. In the initial weeks he settled in well, however over the last month his behaviour at school has been truly awful. He gets frustrated and lashes out, and is struggling to form and maintain friendships because of this. His behaviour at home is fine, and when I talk to him he says he enjoys school. His teacher is very nice and we have put reward charts/feelings cards, etc in place to help him to manage his emotions, however they don't seen to be helpful. I'm so upset for him as he's a lovely little boy but he just seems unable to cope when he's overwhelmed. He now has the "naught kid" reputation and he's devastated but when I ask him why he behaves this way he just says he doesn't know, and he wishes he didn't.

Can anyone offer any advice or point me in the direction of anything I can read or access to try to help him? He's such a lost little boy at the moment and I really want to help him to resolve this.

Thanks.

I would ask the SENCO to observe him to try and establish what the triggers might be, and go from there. How young in the year is he?

Is he an only child? How does he cope with his sibling if not? Is ASD a possibility? Just wondering as you say he gets over whelmed and is struggling with friendships. I agree with talking to the SENCO, although school SENCO's really aren't experts IMO. DS had someone in from SEND to observe him and she was very experienced and picked up on several things that meant he was later diagnosed with ASD. It might just be his age of course and he just needs a bit of time to mature, but worth baring in mind.

Thank you both, I will look into these options.

He is 5 in April, so he's on the younger side but not one of the youngest.

He's my oldest child, I have a 2 year old as well who he has a lovely relationship with.

Thanks again so much x

Hi, this sounds exactly like my son who will be 5 in July.
he is lovely at home but is so strong willed and gets into trouble at school.
he can be the most caring, kind, loving child but on the opposite end he can be a nightmare with authority from other adults even some family members.
can I ask if you had any improvement or any more info from the above advice?
thanks

Hi,

Things have improved a lot since Christmas...he has been seeing the school ELSA, who has helped him to talk about how he is feeling, and with some support from his teacher he is coping with his emotions much better

His teacher thinks that starting school effects children in different ways, and that he became so overwhelmed by the transition that he couldn't cope with his emotions.

His behaviour at school isn't perfect, and he is now trying to shake the "naughty kid" reputation, but we are moving forward with it at least.

Hope this helps x