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Behaviour/development

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20 month update-last post was at 16 months old

12 replies

Toworryornottoworry · 16/11/2022 20:42

So I have previously wrote about my concerns with my daughter when she was 15 and then 16 months old. Pretty much had concerns since the age of 12 months when she got covid. Prior to that I had no concerns. I had and still have autism concerns. She’s now 20 months old.

With communication:She mainly whole hand points and moans and adds a vocal noise to get our attention. She switches between whole hand pointing and index finger pointing. She had been pointing on and off very minimally since the age of 15 months but i wouldn’t say that skill was very consistent until the last month so 19 months going into the 20th month.

She has only around 5 words one of which is “ham” when she’s eating or when she wants food. “Oww” for ouch and “bebba” for peppa which she’d utterly obsessed with. She only watches peppa pig and refuses everything else.and another two in our language. We speak two languages at home. Again she doesn’t use these words every single day!

She seems delayed to me and isn’t fond of her siblings, cousins or other people. She seems like she doesn’t like people at all really.

She is utterly obsessed with me and I mean that. She ONLY communicates with me and that’s pretty much 99% of the time. She follows me around all day.She brings me things, shows me things,toys, food, remote anything she finds really. She only responds to her name if I say it. Will maybe 1/10 look at someone else that’s calling her name but basically pretends they don’t exist. I on the other hand she responds to her name very consistently when I call her. I find this very strange.

She still runs away from me when I take her out but stops here and there when I cal her name sternly. Recently when I take her to the park she does stay near me but it depends one day she stays near me and the next she runs and could care less.

Her eye contact with me is good but she refuses to look at other people unless it’s a slight glance. She hates being picked up by anyone else but me and wriggles her way out of them. She pushes them away when they get close. I’m talking of cousins, uncles even her dad. She was very fond of her dad when she was younger but over the past few months she isn’t interested in him in the slightest bit and doesn’t smile for him. Again she doesn’t smile at anyone apart from me occasionally.

Feel like all I say is NO to her all day everyday as she’s into anything and everything and it’s like as if she forgets she’s not allowed to do certain things as it seems like she doesn’t care at all. She sometimes looks at me before she does something, she used to be more consistent with this but not so much anymore.

She still is obsessed with the tv in particular peppa pig. Would rather watch tv all day if she could get away with it but obviously I don’t let that happen. Will bring the remote to anyone for help to put that on. She will snatch iPads/tablets off her cousins not caring that they are using it and cries for it. She likes to run up and down in living room,she sometimes spins herself probably a few times every few days, tilts her head sometimes randomly as she’s walking. I know these repetitive behaviours have been linked to Autism.
Sometimes she also tenses up shakes acts like she’s had an electric shock when she’s excited by something.

As prior history on my posts she is a child that get poorly with ear infections, colds and tummy issues majority of her life so I don’t know how much this can have an effect on her development.

My main concern is unless she with me is that she does not communicate or go to anyone if I’m not there. I am with her majority of the time but can’t always be present 24/7 as I work too.They as in family that age may see once a month have mentioned and commented on her not responding to her name or even bothering to look at them when they want her attention. But she also doesn’t respond to her name when siblings call her which I find strange again. When she was younger she was very good at responding to her name.

OP posts:
PritiPatelsMaker · 17/11/2022 06:39

Hello @Toworryornottoworry

I think it's pretty normal for Bilingual DC to have some speech delay and it might be worth asking about that in the Multicultural Families Section.

However, given everything else you've mentioned, like not responding to her name, obsessed with Peppa and Stimming I think you should talk to your GP and ask for:

  1. A hearing test, just to rule out glue ear.
  1. A referral to SLT (Speech & Language Therapy).
  1. A referral to a Paediatrician for assessment for ASD.

The GP may very well try and out you off but you may need to politely stand firm and insist.

If you have a DH and he can go with you to the appointment then that may well help.

It's a sad fact that many GPS can dismiss Mum's concerns but will listen to Dad.

Ivfmama1992 · 23/12/2022 12:58

Hi, following along as i read your 16 month post and now 20 month update. My son sounds 100% the same as your little one. Any more updates? We are seeing SALT already privately and a developmental paed in feb

Toworryornottoworry · 23/12/2022 16:25

Hi @Ivfmama1992 how old is your child? And what do they score on mchat?

My daughter has become a lot more interactive and sharing her world with me and her siblings. She says more words too and scores a 1-2 on mchat at moment in time. Whenever she gets poorly she seems to regress significantly each time and then that takes a lot out of her and it’s like she has to relearn the skills she had which she they did come back each time but it frightens me.

Shes 22 months as of recent and doesn’t spend her days crying or being frustrated as she uses her gestures and eye contact to communicate with me quite easily so I nearly always now know what she wants and is trying to show me etc.

That’s not to dismiss my concerns though as she is definitely way less “social” and less needing of other other peoples interaction. But currently we’re not having any daily life disruptions or difficulties really. She is just way more comfy at home in her own home with her immediate family.

OP posts:
Ivfmama1992 · 24/12/2022 00:07

Thats great to hear hun it sounds like she is coming along really well. Maybe the social aspect will pick up also? My son is 17 months. He has only one word 'tree' which he has started saying in the last week. but uses it out of reference and calls everything tree. Up untill 2 weeks ago he wasnt pointing clapping waving no gestures. Somehow in 2 weeks he has picked up all 3 which is great progress. Its the stimming which has me worried, finger posturing, tip toe, arm flapping, wheel spinninh. The mchat is a tricky one because i can score him anywhere between a 2 all the way up to a 6 depending on the day and how harsh im being with my answers! 😅

Toworryornottoworry · 24/12/2022 13:44

@Ivfmama1992 Wow that’s amazing progress! And I wouldn’t think you have much to worry about at all if he has all them gestures now. Lol my daughter was very much like that in terms of fluctuating mchat scores it was very confusing. I thought I’d have had a clear answer by now as to if shes NT or not. She has a number of “stimmy” type behaviours which I didn’t really notice on my other two children. Mine still very much is obsessed with tv so it’s very much limited in this household.

Does he use eye contact to communicate? Does he share things with you such as toys, what he sees, does he gesture for help with things such as bringing his cup for a drink or help with other things?

OP posts:
Ivfmama1992 · 24/12/2022 14:50

Its so hard when we just want answers but its kind of a 'wait and see' situation. Ive had a few sleepless nights filled with worry but am now trying to just relax and accept whatever will be will be... his eye contact is good. But if the tv is on he will completely zone out, wont respond to anyone and just becomes fixated. So its never on now! Same as your LO. He doesnt really bring toys to 'share' but more to get me to help him turn on etc. He has never brung me his cup but has just started pointing to his bottle etc which i think is pointing to request? The stimmy stuff is what worries me now too, and the little quirky things like today he was inspecting each screw in the flooring. Is this just normal toddler behaviour that most people would ignore but because of a speech and gesturing delay i am hyper aware? Or is it something more. Would be nice to just know one way or another! Have you decided to get an assesment or just leaving it for now since she has progressed?

Toworryornottoworry · 28/12/2022 20:09

@Ivfmama1992 Right now no I won’t be scheduling an assessment. I know I have read threads before if watch and wait approach not being the best but tbh with the way the referral system is currently especially since covid it would take a while to get her in the system anyway. I am taking this approach because of all the health related problems she has had and because of a massive improvement in her overall development. And her eye contact has improved to and actually looks at people which she did used to before turning 1. It’s once turned one to the age of 20 months that her eye contact massively reduced. Again I’m not ruling out autism but as of now she scores a 1-2 on mchat. Is passing the ASQ in every section apart from communication which is because of her speech delay. She actually plays with her siblings now. I took her to a play centre the other day and she was loving life and sharing her world with me. The next development review she has is the 2-2 and half year old health visitor review. So I will see how she is around that time.

OP posts:
Ivfmama1992 · 29/12/2022 01:12

Such amazing progress! Even if she is mildly on the spectrum she may only need some help with speech? That said ive seen many just be simply late talkers aswell! Does she babble lots? You can do speech privately if it comes to it and the waitlists are not usually that long. Ill keep you posted with how our appt in feb goes. Im assuming because my boy will only be 20 months its too early to tell anything anyways and im really praying he improves before then anyways 🤞

Newmama232 · 01/05/2023 09:57

@Toworryornottoworry how is your little girl doing?

Toworryornottoworry · 11/07/2023 18:44

@Newmama232 hi, sorry for late reply.
Its up and down really. Some days she seems absolutely fine and other days she regresses and seems in her own world. She has picked up more words and uses her gestures throughout the day. She still isn’t that fond of people other people though doesn’t let anybody but me do anything for her. She doesn’t listen to others neither. She’s 28 months now. She has at least stopped running from me when we are out and listens to my command of her to come back or she stays nearby me.

OP posts:
Vittoria123 · 15/08/2024 16:33

Toworryornottoworry · 11/07/2023 18:44

@Newmama232 hi, sorry for late reply.
Its up and down really. Some days she seems absolutely fine and other days she regresses and seems in her own world. She has picked up more words and uses her gestures throughout the day. She still isn’t that fond of people other people though doesn’t let anybody but me do anything for her. She doesn’t listen to others neither. She’s 28 months now. She has at least stopped running from me when we are out and listens to my command of her to come back or she stays nearby me.

Hi how’s your daughter now ? ☺️

Vittoria123 · 30/09/2024 13:51

Toworryornottoworry · 28/12/2022 20:09

@Ivfmama1992 Right now no I won’t be scheduling an assessment. I know I have read threads before if watch and wait approach not being the best but tbh with the way the referral system is currently especially since covid it would take a while to get her in the system anyway. I am taking this approach because of all the health related problems she has had and because of a massive improvement in her overall development. And her eye contact has improved to and actually looks at people which she did used to before turning 1. It’s once turned one to the age of 20 months that her eye contact massively reduced. Again I’m not ruling out autism but as of now she scores a 1-2 on mchat. Is passing the ASQ in every section apart from communication which is because of her speech delay. She actually plays with her siblings now. I took her to a play centre the other day and she was loving life and sharing her world with me. The next development review she has is the 2-2 and half year old health visitor review. So I will see how she is around that time.

Hi any updates please?☺️

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