Do i leave dd for a night??!!!!

[chocospence]

My dd is 4.5 months old. She suffers from silent reflux which is very draining and i'm totally exhausted. My dh has booked a night in a hotel in two weeks time and my question is do i leave lo with grandma or bring her with us?

She is exclusively breastfed, we have a battle on most occasions to give her a bottle of expressed milk (although she has done it a few times without a fight), she still has night feeds and she makes strange with most people, even grandma that would be looking after her.

Am i mad to be considering the possibility to leave her?

You are not mad.

What does your dh think? What is the context behind him booking the hotel?
My suspicion is that he wants you to have abreak from caring from your dd and to have you to himself for a night.

How does her grandmother feel about looking after her?

dh happy to go with whatever i am comfortable with and its exactly as you think for night away - and its a free night because we had problems with hotel when we stayed there on our wedding night!

I'm just concerned that she'll be such a nightmare and then the days after will be worse....

grandma says she's happy but i'm not sure she truly realises how high need dd is

to me its a little young. I found it hard enough leaving dd with DH when she was 3 as she has epilepsy. And waddaya know, she had a massive seizure that night so I had to drive 300miles back again.
But thats just me.

If you are exhausted then it isn't unreasonable to want a night undisturbed, good on your dh for thinking about it.

Could Grandma do a 'dry run' while you are at home?

That way you can feel reassured that grandma does know whats involved.

oh, and meant to say, Grandma will have had to deal with a baby before, you know

I have barely left my dd2 since she was born last August - that's just what I am comfortable with at the mo. She is exc b/f like your dd. With dd1 she was a much more settled child and I was much more relaxed about leaving her. (although we never left her overnight until she was almost 3 years!)Having said that I do work evenings and get called out in the night too, and when I return to work I will be more than happy to leave both of them with dh.

If you don't feel happy leaving her, and it sounds like you don't at the mo, that is FINE. If you go against your better judgment you may well be anxious and preoccupied and your dh will regret that you went. I am sure that in the circumstances the hotel will let you postpone for as many months as you need to.

In a few weeks she won't be just on breast milk and may or may not sleep a little better. The right time to leave her overnight will be when you are ready...and that may be next week or not for 2 years!

i would say to go my dp and i had same problem with our ds and my mum kindly took him we slept and had great time and even had energy to em i think you know what i mean we were all refreshed and ready to start again when ds came home

dont feel guilty if help is offered take it enjoy each other

we thought about dry run but i think she is more than likely going to find it hard and if i hear it it will be harder to leave....ever!!

dh is a fabulous man! bless him he is so understanding but the decision on this one is mine....

look, if you want the break, are so tired you cant think straight, think theres a chance it'll do you a power of good, then do it. dd wont die. she'll be absolutely fine. even if she takes ages and ages to settle and poor old grandma gets hardly any sleep, its only one night. youll all live and the baby will forget in a heartbeat.

if however you feel you will spend all nigth worrying about her and wont really get any rest, then dont.

listen to your gut, and try n ot to over analyse.

Thank you all!

I think we'll play it by ear and see what's happening on the day - 2 weeks is a long time in babyland and things could be different by then.

The things parenthood brings...decision making has taken a whole new turn!!!

if you do decide against now, just take a rain check.

agree to do a night away in 6m time. that way, dd will be older/more settled, youll be more relaxed about her and youll have had ages to look forward to a lovely romantic night for two. seems forever away now, but it'll go in a flash.