Nearly 3 Non verbal.

[234Mam]

Looking (praying) for some advice/stories from those that have previously been here. My twins are nearly 3 & non verbal. Not yet diagnosed but we know it is ASD. I am losing all hope of speech and sometimes feel like my heads going to explode trying to ensure im giving everything to help them but weve hit a road and just dont seem to be moving forward! Has anyone been through this with literally No words at all at 2 years 10 months. And gone on to have good amount of speech. I worry about them sooo much! My brain cant switch off. Dont get me wrong they arent silent infact every noisy 🤣 lots of verbal babble but just no words at all!

How is their non verbal communication ? How will they get your attention ? How do they request preferred food or toys ? Do they seem to generally understand what you say to them without visual clues ? ie will they get their shoes when asked when shoes are not in the room ? You are right to be concerned but take it all one step at a time, worry will not change anything - I know these cliches do not really help but get us much help in as you can . I wish I could say something more positive and it may be that they are just slow but you will not be short of people saying ' don't worry it will all be fine etc' but at this age you need some real answers and some real support. Do they go they go to nursery or a childminder ? What do others who know them say?

They are super young and things can change very quickly. Of course it's totally normal to be worried though. Have you received any salt support?

Mine was the same, very noisy...he still is! It would make me laugh when people said your house must be quiet.... Far far from the truth!

What I will say is don't let the worry of what might happen later consume you to the point you don't enjoy them being little. I did this and I regret it now my son is older. They may well develop speech, many children that have been non verbal at 3 do. For me my son developed some speech very very late and also uses communication software. Things are different but we get on just fine.

Thanks for your replies. & yes they go to nursery and are under a peadiatrician. They are also under Speech and language but its an absolutely dreadful service on the nhs. I think i just wondered if anyone else had got to this age with no speech and then go on to develop good speech? Or by nearly 3 is that now very unlikely? They are both different 1 has less understanding that the other but ds2 has good understanding id say still delayed but has come on loads. Ds1 has less but we have seen a good development in this over past few months also. I know premeturity can no longer be to blame and in earlier months i used that as like a safety net as to why things werent on track for them😔

Yes unfortunately Speech and Language Therapy is poorly funded and focuses what it has on those with minor issues that have a high and quick clear up rate - longer term developmental issues are not a priority. I don't think anyone on MN can really answer the big question about whether they will go on to develop speech - it's easy for the well intentioned to assure you that yes they definitely will but superficial re assurance will not last long when you are so worried. There is no shortage of anecdotes about 'little boys down granny's lane who did not speak til 4 but they are world leading scientists now' but are these anecdotes based on real evidence ? When people say these things they are usually meaning a child who who was very slightly delayed in speech or who did not speak as much to strangers as to their carers but it gets passed on in family legend as 'did not speak a word til 3 or or 4 or 5 or whatever age they are claiming' . But you have to focus on your children not anecdotes. It may be that a combination of being twins and prematurity is a factor in late speech development but make use of any time with Speech and Language to ask the big question about what developmental level they are at and what you can do to help their communication - communication is the big one, if they can communicate they will speak but that's the area to look at