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Angry 4 year old

3 replies

CharJ10 · 24/10/2022 20:09

My daughter started school in September, she's a younger member of the class as turned 4 in June.
I know people say that they hold their emotions in and school and let them out at home, and as far as I'm aware her behaviour is excellent at school, but at home she's foul. I feel awful even writing that. She's a bright, active, lovely little girl but in the last couple of months I don't know where my little friend has gone.
She is so angry and aggressive at home. Screaming and shouting angrily when things don't go her way eg if she draws a picture and a line doesn't go quite the way she imagined, if I say she can't have sweets right before tea, if I ask her not to run off in the carpark etc. Her immediate reaction is to scream and shout and I mean her voice is cracking it's so loud. She'll also sometimes be aggressive during these angry episodes, kicking me or hitting my husband in particular. The screaming can last upwards of half an hour at times. There doesn't seem to be anything I can do to calm her down, which is fine overall, if she's angry she's angry and I've tried to explain that it's ok to be angry but it's not ok to scream at people and hurt them but it seems to be falling on deaf ears. I've read a lot about being present with the child when they're feeling these 'big' emotions so we don't send her to her room or shout back of hit back of course, but I just don't know what to do from here. I feel like we're all walking on egg shells around her to avoid her angry outbursts.
Sorry for the long post but I feel very alone and disappointed in myself I've somehow let things get to this point.
Any advice greatly appreciated. I just want my happy girl back

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redjoker · 26/10/2022 21:01

This is word for word what we are going through in our house. I could have written it myself.

From what I can tell (I wrote a post yesterday with a good set of responses) this is common. But none the less heartbreaking

We are treating my son like a bomb that is about to explode but at the same time trying to be calm around him. It's exhausting

I don't have the answers except to say that we don't punish at the moment. We ignore bad bahaviour but try and continously reinforce. Be kind. Don't hit. Be polite. And mostly distract and ignore... Move away

Its really bloody tough and just want you to know you aren't alone!

bakeywithcakey · 14/09/2023 20:23

Did you find anything to improve this?
DD is 4 and has just switched to 4 full days at nursery around a month ago, and honestly it's like she hates us all, she's vile. It's much much worse on a Friday and then the weekend when she's been in nursery all week so I'm assuming it's because she's just exhausted but I actually dread her being at home at the moment. I feel like I'm grieving my lovely little girl.

CharJ10 · 15/09/2023 01:47

Unfortunately now it’s almost a year later all I can say is that it just needs time. It went on for a while with us then her behaviour kept deteriorating as it was coming up to school holidays as she was clearly so tired and overwhelmed. Hang in there. I know it’s absolutely awful but you will find your way through it and so will she. Stick to your routines and boundaries but be kind to yourself 💕

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