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Behaviour/development

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Advice dealing with meltdowns after school (reception)

10 replies

IScreamMonday · 13/10/2022 19:13

DS started school this September and loves it and apparently behaves very well there but we are suddenly having problems with behaviour at home. It's like nothing we've experienced before - screaming, shouting, kicking etc. and laughing when he breaks things. It's also kind of controlling e.g. specifying exactly who has to do what but it's nearly always something impossible like daddy has to read stories on the evening he's going out etc.
I hear it's pretty common on starting school but I'm looking for some tips on how to handle it. Like, when he throws himself on the floor screaming because I cut the fruit wrong(!), should I ignore, walk away, threaten consequences? I've tried offering a cuddle as I feel he's anxious at the moment but he's way too wound up for that in the moment. Would it be worth looking at cutting school to half days?

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underneaththeash · 13/10/2022 22:57

Is there a park nearby - I'd go there with a snack.

If not I'd take a snack to school.

Behaviour management is very child specific.

I did do a half day, once a week with both my younger two for a term. But I just varied it depending on their needs. DS1 didn't need it.

IScreamMonday · 14/10/2022 06:42

I take a snack to school and it does delay the tantrums but doesn't stop them. I hadn't thought about park as I was thinking he was already tired but will try

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BlueChampagne · 17/10/2022 12:11

On Beeb today www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/z863cxs

redjoker · 18/10/2022 11:12

Im going through this, its almost like hes gone back to being 2, has the most explosive meltdowns over the wrong color plate, the prong pumpkin, the wrong tshirt. Nothing we ever experienced when he was actually 2 (!) Im hoping its a phase? a mix of exhaustion and hunger and just having alot going on? I was recommended to read up on 'after-school restraint collapse'

IScreamMonday · 19/10/2022 21:27

It's really tough, isn't it. I am feeling that we got away very lightly with toddler years!

The article is really helpful actually, just in recognising this is a thing. I do feel very sympathetic and wouldn't be surprised if he was mildly ND as have always felt I am, but I still need practical tips when he's screaming his head off at 7 in the evening because I put the toothpaste on 'wrong'!

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redjoker · 20/10/2022 10:01

Same, Yesterday I didn't speak to him until he was home and had eaten. He watched TV for a good 2 hours, he looked like he just needed it. But as a toddler aside from normal toddler stuff he was a breeze. This is totally new and I feel like im on egg shells constantly! Im still not sure how to calm him down in his very very angry moments!

Ive tried setting some boundries but only when hes totally calm and happy...'when we feel angry we do this/dont do that'

Ive also ordered the colour monster book

We have also gone back to reward charts (but i have no idea how well that will work)

if you get any good ideas i all ears lol

IScreamMonday · 20/10/2022 21:45

I was thinking of reward charts too but that only works if they are calm I suppose. Interesting we all seem to be unprepared as toddler years were relatively calm

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Whataboutno · 21/10/2022 22:33

I had this when my daughter started school, it was awful! I used to give her milk when she got home ( like a baby I know I know) but other than that I just had to ride it out. I found it got much better after the first term as she gradually got used to the tiredness. It's so hard when they start and no one warns you about the after school meltdowns!

CharJ10 · 24/10/2022 20:37

Oh I'm so glad to read this (not glad you're also going through it!) as I just posted a similar thing. My daughter was 4 in June and started school September and her behaviour at home is atrocious. I feel like I've lost my gorgeous, happy little girl. It's heartbreaking.

IScreamMonday · 25/10/2022 18:53

I think half term has helped here. I'm trying not to commit to too many different things over half term and leaving plenty of chill out time for pretend play etc Really hope we don't drop back as soon as school restarts!

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