Autism - Early Detection/Monitoring

[Parent2Girl]

Hi all,
I have a 9 month old daughter that had a developmental check yday. Everything went well, however, the nurse made a passing comment which has me worried.
My daughter wiggles her hands from time to time and the nurse signalled it’s too early to say but it could be a sign of autism (she said this without saying the word). This naturally now has me worried.

For context, my daughter currently does the following:

• says mama / dada frequently (although I can’t be 100% sure she knows who is who)
• makes eye contact
• laughs and smiles all the time
• waves goodbye (not all the time but sometimes)
• responds to her name
• plays peekaboo

Is it too early for me to start worrying about this hand wiggling or watching for other signs?
Also wondering if there’s any parents that have been through this and can share what early signs they noticed on their child?

thanks in advance.

Stop worrying. She’s not even one yet. That nurse had no business saying that to you. I had 0 concerns about my girl until she was 18ish months (she’s is autistic). She’s far too young right now and shes still exploring her body. Please don’t worry. Autism isn’t the end of her life either. Worrying will also not take any conditions away from her. I mean all of this with the best of intentions x

I agree with @laurenvictoriaxo, babies do all sorts of weird things with their bodies as they discover how to move them and the different sensations this can create. I really wouldn't worry about this in a baby, especially not one that otherwise seems to be developing well.

Hey!

My little boy does EVERYTHING you've listed - he also flaps hands/open closes hands .

During his 9 month check this week the HV said this is very age appropriate & to not stress like I had been. My little boy does it when he is excited or tired. The HV said at this current moment in time, because he's social/eye contact/responds to name autism isn't a concern what so ever! I think it's his way of expressing his emotions!

Sounds like normal behaviour for a 9mo & online says it's not a flag on its own & also not a concern at this age. Hope you can carry on enjoying your little one and please don't stress, sounds like she's thriving!!

Hope this link helps you - community.whattoexpect.com/forums/july-2018-babies/topic/handswrists-constantly-rotating-77472709.html

Op I hope this might reassure you.

my DS has autism, he has never really flapped, wiggled or done anything with his hands.

my younger child who does not have autism flapped her hands a lot as a baby and toddler.

the HV should have not made that comment. Your Dd sounds like she's developing well. My autistic son could not do any of what you listed at the same age (apart from the smiles).

HV's really aren't that great either. They didn't even recognise my son could be autistic even though it was pretty obvious from a young age.

she's so young, don't fret and nothing from when you have said is alarming.

@Parent2Girl @njh21
i have this massive worry to as my son does the same ALLLL the time
he has some strange quirks about him. Sticks his tongue out. Shakes his head like no no no but when music is on
how are your babies now if you don’t mind me ask xx

Hello! How old is your son @Danielle1989x

Oh I wish I hadn't spent 3.5 months being so stressed for the reason being even if he was to end up autistic it wouldn't change a thing!!

He has since stopped a lot of traits I was worried about which were: not responding to name & eye contact (glue ear!), hand flapping (stopped doing that over night), not taking to weaning (not eats most things - just a fussy so & so), loss of words (I'll list his words).. although spinning wheels is the only one he does now but I'm honestly not concerned as his understanding is amazing and communication. He did have glue ear which on the list has a lot of same autism 'symptoms' the nhs list

He says words - mama, dada, bang, woof woof, raaa (when you ask lion noises), moo, no & peppa. He's just hit 13 months. I currently have no concerns about him!

He claps, points, copies, waves and does 'kisses'.

My son and my nephew also shake their heads.. sounds like teething & also when it's music I wonder if he's dancing?! 🥰 again, sticking tongue out.. their tongue is such a huge sensory thing!! My son also went through a phase of this when cutting his bottom teeth?

My only advice (which I completely understand is easy for me to say now) is just enjoy your baby, we don't get this time back and we expect too much too early because we compare so much online (I'm a fine one to say it!!)

Hope this is some help that all the things I'd worried about which are autism traits & everything the OP states my son was doing.. (as per advice from professionals) they're also very normal behaviours in children.

Xx

Thanks everyone for your comments and support.

My daughter is 1yo now and is doing really well. She is hitting a lot of the developmental milestones (in her time). She still wiggles her hands but it’s not as frequent and I found that I forgot about it for a long time which shows she’s not doing it as much.

Like a lot of the advice, I focused on the things she is doing. All children develop at different rates so I tried (which wasn’t easy at first) to remind myself of that and to just focus on how amazing she is, and over time I forgot all about my initial concerns.

hope this helps.
x

Hey @njh21

Thank you so much for replying so quick to my comment :-)
I have been SO worried the past few months! It’s not been the best journey at all and I know I’d love him all the same but you just cannot help but worry

he is 9 months old and has been doing his hand movements for quite a few months now and recently it’s also his toes/feet twirling.
He can do this in his car seat, high chair feeding, excited, frustrated
when he lays on his back his hands and legs can go crazy. He really kicks them about ALOT
Some days I find his hands may not be as bad as other days. This weekend gone he didn’t do them half as much but now today they’ve been going crazy :-(
He has some very funny quirks about him

• He blows raspberries alot
• His started head shaking side to side (he can do no no no when I ask but sometimes I find he then just does it himself or when musics on)
• He can have his tongue right out and makes a funny noise as he does it
• He grunts and growls a lot

He can say Mum and Dad. Mumma a lot more but not so much when I ask. It’s just when he wants which is more so when he wants me
He plays peek a boo
He can give kisses when he wants to
He can crawl
He wants to stand ALL the time and walks when I hold his hands
He responds to name
Smiles
but I find he can sensory seek a lot. The hands, feet, feeling material, the tongue. He feels with his thumb on one hand rather than finger.
He loves his food but unfortunately has so many allergies, very restricted diet!

So my little one learnt to clap in November. He did it for a good 3 weeks and now will not clap at all and it’s been almost 2 months since he last did it. Everytime I ask lately he just flaps his hands instead.
he will not wave or point. I’ve tried so hard to get him to wave :-(
how old was your little one when they waved?

Glue ear! How do I know if this is an issue. How did you get that resolved?
He tugs at his ears often and I did take him Dr once about it but she said it looked clear and his probably just teething.

I compare so much as I have two older girls. 7 & 5 and they was doing SO much more at his age. I felt they understood everything I said whereas it’s either he does or he plays ignorant lol

He hates cuddles, doesn’t have a comfort at all just my boobs as I breast feed him!
his gone through stages of being so straight faced too, like I really had to work at cracking a smile but this past week his full of smiles!

it’s been a tough few months with so much I’ve worried about
i just really want to see the hands and feet stop and I think I’d feel more at ease

x

Thanks @Parent2Girl for replying so quickly

Have you noticed now when she does her hands? Is it always for the same situation

did you health visitor mention anything about it being a concern
hopefully she’ll stop doing it soon then if it’s not so much as before

did she useto do it a lot then?
My son does it every day and has for a few months now. His now 9 months x

Hey again @Danielle1989x

I ended up going to the dr and was told I had PP anxiety. Let me tell you when I say it took over my life, I was CONSTANTLY comparing him. He started to wiggle his fingers the other day and felt it creeping back in.. until I realised Ms Rachel taught him 'want' in BSL! So I really do feel for you. Autism is really not the be all and end all, but when you get something into your head you also mourn for the parent/child lifestyle you had envisioned in your head!!

My son started the hand movements at 7 months. They were like spinning and flicking fingers whenever he was excited (twisty wristy and twirly wirly toes we used to say!).. I used to HATE baby groups because he would do it when the bubbles came out and ALL the parents commented about 'aww how lively he's so excited' but at the time my anxiety was sky high! He would quite literally be like a propeller going round and round with the hands.

Honestly from an outsider and what you've described, he sounds like a happy 9mo to me!! Everything is new to them and they are trying to understand the big wide world and 9 months is so young. He sounds Exactly like my son was at the time. Hit 10.5/11 months and he stopped the hands! EVERYTHING you've listed he does!

The glue ear I found out because I noticed he wasn't responding to his name.. then I dropped a full bottle on his floor one morning (hard flooring) and noticed he didn't turn his head, couple bashes on the door and any hard surface he still wouldn't turn.. turns out he couldn't hear bless him! The glue ears resolved itself luckily but I contacted HV and they booked hearing test and his 1 year check early because I raised autism concerns - she told me he was excited and to enjoy him (WISH I took that advice then) and that hand flapping is very age appropriate - only in 2 years plus is it a concern she said.

My son hated cuddles, went off to nursery without even looking back and would get annoyed when I turned up.. instantly I was like 'he has no attachments, he's definitely autistic'.. which like I said, wouldn't of even mattered but it's hard.

Either way, I know that no matter what people can say in the internet it's really hard to get it out of your head. I promise everything he says sounds exactly like my son at the ages of 7-11 months for say and it was a tough old battle with my head. I think they say boys are slower than girls (I'm sure I'll get abuse for that comment like I've seen other get!) but my son and his little boy pals were different to his friends that are girls!! They were and are far more social-able the the boys. I noticed my anxiety calmed once the hand flapping stopped (he was 10000% picking up on the anxiety, he completely changed once I calmed down!!!) and he started to 'share joy' and his toys with me - again, this was only at about 11 months.

Sorry, waffling on but trying to reply to it all!! My son has learnt new tricks and then stopped doing them whilst he concentrated on another new skills! He learnt to roll and then stopped for MONTHS. So you can imagine my anxiety but in that time he learnt to crawl and pull himself up - yet to walk, unlike all his girl pals that are running around and a month younger than him!

Hope you're doing okay and know you're not alone in being a concerned parent. I'm on a December 2021 baby page on 'what to expect' and find that useful to compare.. even though you shouldn't but I soon learnt lots of my LO's traits were 'normal' and common xxx

Also, again.. sorry haha! After looking over your list my son may have actually been doing less at your sons age! Crawling didn't happen until recently and he wouldn't dare let us put weight on his feet if we wanted to! He sounds like he's got lots of understanding 🥰

Hey @njh21

I have taken my son to the GP several times and I have even gone private too because I am that concerned and it’s so frustrating as they all say he is too young
I get that, but for me as his mum it’s not what I want to hear! but yes I can 100% relate. I have two girls and the life I envisioned with a 3rd wasn’t like this and it worries me what our future as a family may be like IF my worries are true!

So I would say my Son started the movements alot younger than yours. It’s like he has always had jittery / shaking hands that progressed from the newborn uncontrollable hands when they are just finding themselves to then this finger and hand twirling.
I too HATE baby groups. As I wonder if people are looking at his hands.
My son also does them at the bubbles!.

Really. So he does all what I have described? Even now or has he slowly started to stop some?
today I’ve been out and he has not stopped blowing raspberries. It’s constant. I’m like you did all this a lot younger why are you now doing it so much. It worries me that it’s another stim/self regulating thing
when he plays with toys he doesn’t really PLAY. He just looks, touches and feels and then hand pats. Like tap tap tap with his hands I’m like what are you doing lol!!

Oh OK. That makes sense with the glue ear for your son

Did he always hate cuddles?
My son is poorly at the minute and he keeps dropping his head onto my like he just wants to lay down but he will not let me comfort him he just pushes off or sits back up even though his SO tired

you know that feeling when your run down and you just want to sleep. He wants /needs to sleep but he fights against it
that’s another worry the no comforts as I’ve heard that’s an ASD trait.

Boys are slower
i feel my girls at his age understood EVERYTHING! They responded right away. They learnt something so quick with him
i just don’t know if I’m coming or going. Is he ignorant or does he really not understand
yet if I say - Say no no no. He does it right away but if I say clap hands. He doesn’t at all yet he did it a few months ago every day for a good few weeks..

it’s been my hardest journey with him
this and his food intolerances and allergies
Ive been an emotional mess and it’s hard because I love him so much and just want the best life for him
i feel awful for my two older girls. His taken up so much of my time. He doesn’t really interact or play with them. They can’t cuddle him and it’s all this that makes me feel that there is something there and that it must be ASD!

OMG my son done the same
learnt to roll and done it two or three times. Never again for MONTHS and when I say MONTHS I mean he just really started to do it at 7 months old??!!
thanks for the advice and replying
I see so many threads and people ask questions and no one really updates them which is a shame xxx

Hey Danielle I would really appreciate if you could share how your baby is doing now? I’m in a very similar situation thank you

from a very worried mum x

Hi
he is the most perfect little boy and every single worry I ever had has now gone thankfully
he is happy, healthy, so so loving now and he is SO clever! His just turned 2 and his also now in big boy pants

please try not to worry. It’s hard, I know! But I put myself through such stress and worry. I cried myself to sleep most nights but he is absolutely fine now
I hope your OK x

Thank you so much for your reply

Please can I ask did you ever have any concerns about eye contact? X

Very brief but it wasn’t for long. He has many food allergies so I don’t alot to help him tummy. Include probiotics and also benonite clay baths to detox. I do really believe these helped him so maybe worth a try? X

I done a lot