5 year old silly at school

[Mumofboys16]

DS5 is having troubles at school, now in year 1 but this has been an ongoing and I'm getting fed up with school now.

It's a bit complicated, but stick with me if you can!..

• He's always been a shy boy, this is loads better but uncertainties can kick in if he's with supply teacher, new kids, new activities (like dance in PE).
• when upset he doesn't get tearful he either refuses or gets angry. There were 3 times in the summer term when they sent him home because they couldn't calm him down. Each time I went to collect he was upset but calm so in my mind no need to send home. I've raised this with school that they need to manage these situations which they are now.
• I've had to push back quite a bit for school to understand him. Things are much better but I do have to remind them regularly about it.
• so the main feedback I get now is he is doing silly things, making silly noises and crawling on other children at carpet time. Some of this is copying another boy, sometimes he starts it. They can't get him to stop, so when it starts, they take the class to another room or it's escalated to him being angry and kicking a teacher.

For background, he's bright academically, they tell me he works hard. There no particular things at home we are concerned by and he's fine when we're out, a bit of shyness when playing at park but nothing major these days.

Any thoughts about this silly behaviour stuff? I feel like it's poor classroom management and feel myself getting more annoyed with it. I have a meeting with his teacher next week so just trying to get her some ideas of things to suggest they try if you can help?

Is he on the autism spectrum? If not, he needs more discipline at home so he learns to respect the rules at school and stops becoming violent there. It’s not a matter of poor classroom management but a failure of parenting.

Charming! We have no problems with his behaviour at home with plenty of rules in place which he follows.

Hi OP, my DS had/has silly behaviour ongoing at school, not quite as extreme as your DS but silly noises when he was meant to be keeping quiet happened at the end of reception/first half of year one. He's never violent and I've never been called or pulled aside after school, but his Y1 teacher found him challenging, and defiant if it was something he didn't want to do. He's in Y2 now.

From your post, it sounds like your DS is probably neurodiverse, autism, adhd etc. Sometimes these conditions don't become apparent until the child goes to school. My DS never had any issues at his nursery, in a smaller group. He's generally ok at school but the little things that crop up do make me think he's probably also ND, and we have referred him for an assessment.

I would ask for a meeting with your DS' teacher together with the SENCO, to talk about ways to support your DS and plans for his behaviours.

I get this! My son was the same. I took to a psychiatrists for evaluation. What was said was happening at school, was not at home. If I saw elements of it, it was mild. The psychiatrist asked about sleep, food textures and engagement in activities he liked in terms of concentration. For us at home, no problem. They ended by saying many referrals are made to them when in fact a lot could be helped and addressed in schools. I'm a teacher by the way. They spoke about firmness and boundaries from teachers. Message me if I can be of any assistance, I know exactly what you're going though and it's just awful.

Oh thanks so much, I'll do that. I really don't think it's a neurodevelopmental thing. I can see why others think that way when I list how he is when he flares up but generally at home and school he's fine, it's just sometimes he gets a silly head on!