Boy thumping DS at Lunchtime - is this an appropriate course of action?

[Jaynerae]

My DS is 8 in Yr 4. Last night he told me the boy he sits next to at the lunch table (they are allocated seats and are not allowed to move) punches him in the arm (once)everytime he sits down at lunchtime. DS always tells him to pack it in, DS has told lunch time supervisers who have told boy to stop - but he takes no notice. DS has had enough now, and I don't blame him. Boy does not bothered DS at any other time as DS has seperate friends.

I want to support DS - would writing a letter to DS's teacher explaining what is going on and asking him to sort it out be appropriate? I don't want to make the situation worse, but want it to stop.

What would you do?

Could you go in and discuss it with the teacher, or perhaps speak on the 'phone? I think it is worth raising the matter as the behaviour is continuing.

if he's already talked to the supervisors, a letter to the teacher asking him to be moved sounds like a good idea .

I'd go in to see the teacher instead of writing. Lunchtime supervisors don't have as much authority i think in the long term. It may only be happening at lunchtimes, but its every single day and that will get very wearing and annoying for ds. Im pretty sure his teacher will sort it out, if it continues go in again then see the head if nothing changes.

I'd speak to the teacher, face to face.

thanks ladies - I told DS if he did it again today - I would act.

Just worried about making a mountain out of a molehill - but it's not a molehill if he is thumping DS is it?

I am an all guns blazing type of person when I am directly involved in a situation and don't always think things through - and have embarressed myself time and time again - like when tackling people parking in parent and child spaces when they have no child - I will approach people - and non too quietly! SO I am worried about how to handle this as I do not want to make things worse for DS.

Am actually thinking it through for a change!

Well -it's not a mountain so no need for all guns blazing but neither should your ds have to put up with this.

A quiet word with the teacher would be the way to go, I think but follow up within a couple of days if things don't change.

it's a kind of intimidation/bullying this other kid is doing imo...repetitive...not acceptable.

But do agree you are right to think about your reaction.

I would chat to ds's form teacher - friendly like, explain situation, explain that ds has asked boy to stop and he hasn't..

that lunch supervisor has asked boy to stop and he hasn't..

and you now require that either your son or boy in question moved. Maybe ask your ds which of the two he would prefer first? Why can't he be moved to sit with his friends? DS I mean.

If she hasn't the authority to deal with situation ask her to advise you who to see.

Makes me very angry this sort of thing.

I agree. I'm sure the teacher will do something. They have to nowadays as there are proper procedures in place, guidelines they have to follow. It is a small thing BUT it happens every day and that makes it BIG.

Dolally - I like your idea about asking DS about who he would prefer moved - that way DS will not feel like he is being punished if he gets on well with rest of children on his table - which I assume he does as he is very sociable and teachers always say he is popular.

Think I have made decision now - thanks all for your help.

yep, if ds is moved he has to be moved to a "better" table (his own classmates/whatever) otherwise he will, as you say, feel that HE is being punished.

Let us know how you get on.

As frazzled says the repetitive part is what makes it into bullying.

Thanks will talk to teacher and if DS wants to Move I will ask for them to do so.

Appreciate your advice everyone.

I tend to think teacher will decide who will be moved. may be different to what ds decides so how will he then feel? Good luck, will await the outcome.