12 week old hardly making eye contact/smiles/cooing

[Alicet31]

I posted when my baby was 8 weeks old as I was really worried she was avoiding looking at faces. I couldn't get her to look at all.

She's now 12 weeks old and while there has been some improvement I'm still very worried.

She had made eye contact a few times but actively avoids it.

The longest she looked at me was when she was breastfeeding - probably about 10 seconds and she smiled. Was so lovely but was only the one time.

Other times she will lock eyes with me and look away. Or she will turn her head

She has started smiling a bit but mainly at random objects. She's smiled a few times at me but I have to work really hard for them and act like a fool lol.

She isn't cooing. When I speak to her sometimes she will make a ahh noise or grunt as if she's trying to talk but again I have to work really hard for her to make any noise. Sometimes she will make noise to her singing elephant that she loves but again it's very rare.

She doesn't turn to voices or sounds but I know she can hear as she will get started by loud noises.

She will track objects and myself but only if you catch her attention first. She loves looking at black and white cards.

Everything I've read has me sick with worry as apparently babies prefer people and love interacting. Well not mine! It's so hard to get her to engage with me.

My partner has a child on the spectrum so I know it's a possibility by LO could have it as it's genetic. Of course I will love my LO no matter what but I would like to mentally prepare myself for what's to come if that is the case. Also I know you can't diagnose a baby that young but I know some people looking back see signs.

I guess I'm just looking for others people's experiences. Has your LO done this and did they eventually engage more. Did they end up on the spectrum or neurotypical?

Bump

My ds1 was like this. He actively avoided looking me in the eye, he would turn away if I got in his eye line. I remember my friend’s ds was obsessed with faces and socially interacted the whole time, he was the same age as my ds and the comparison caused me so much worry. My ds is 16 now, and is absolutely fine. His eye contact is still not great at times, but actually is better than my ds2’s eye contact who was very social as a baby and made loads of eye contact. I know it’s hard, but try not to worry.

Thank you that's reassuring. What age did your LO start to engage more? Was he smiling and cooing. I hope my daughter turns a corner soon as this is so heartbreaking x

Have you noticed any improvement in your little one?

I have been noticing no eye contact from my baby and no smiling yet so has been referred by GP to paeds at 8 week check.

Update: 18 weeks old and not much change

Being closely monitored by health visitors and doctors

Autism diagnosis is likely at this point

Hello,

You are completely right , no professional (an actually good one) could diagnose a baby at 18 weeks old. I know it seems very hard now, but you have to let her grow, because only time can tell what's going on, and she needs to be much older for any sort of diagnostic thing to be done.

I have been exactly like yourself, looking for signs and engagement and worry myself sick , crying at night thinking of what future might bring. My daughter was very similar to yours as a baby , but because of my anxiety it seemed much worse. I felt like everybody else's baby is so much more engaging and laughing, and my girl hardly ever looked at me. I'd say I started seeing glimpses of hope when she turned around 7 months, yet it took maybe until she was a year old for me to finally let it go.

Why is she being closely monitored by doctors and health visitors? Is there any physical problem?

@AAlicet31 How is your baby now?? Any updates will be appreciated

@kass12

Hey sorry for the late reply I was in really dark place for a while. I said autism is likely because I was absolutely convinced she's autistic but I know that was my anxiety as I know there's really no way to tell. She was being closely monitored for my own sanity as I was adamant she wasn't developing properly but after months of weekly visits they said they see no concerns and I need to focus on my mental health.

She's 6 months old now and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still worried.

She's a very serious and quiet baby. She was late to coo only started making noises at 5 months old. She rarely smiles at anyone but me. Her eye contact is great now though. She will stare into my eyes regularly and stare into my soul while I'm eating 🤣

I'm hoping she's just more focused on her gross motor skills. She can roll both ways, crawl and sit unassisted.

When did you daughter start cooing or babbling, I think it's the lack of noises and smiles that has me so worried.

Hello!

I'm happy to see you are feeling a little bit better. I know how hard mental health issues can be and how badly it can spiral.
Even your writing is different, which is a great sign of you recognising your anxiety and working on ways to make it better!

My daughter never babbled like a "normal" child. She never had this cute "baby talk" every one was talking about, like her own language and stuff. Her cooing was very limited, and it was more of a practice of sounds , rather than trying to communicate properly. Shortly after she went straight into words. Obviously not with the perfect pronunciation, but I vividly remember her first words being "cheese", "boob" and "more". She was about 10 months then. I worried myself sick about this baby jargon which never happened. But now it feels like she just didn't want to waste her time on that language that doesn't even exist :)

Focusing on other skills is a massive distraction as well, you are completely right. Crawling itself is a huge milestone which is extremely important, and I would say is a great sign of her developing without the need of intervention.

She is still very young and you are vulnerable with your anxiety, but trust me, if you try and let it go just at times a little bit, it will help to form a great bond. I'm not saying just relax and let her grow, because this is impossible, but just a couple of times a day, you will see the difference!

I’m just wondering if you might be able to update us on your little one. On the off chance you might see this.

@Ldad23 she alrdy gave an update see above the pp

Hey! She's 9 months old now and has come a long way!

Eye contact is great, she smiles whenever she seems me. She is babbling saying mama and baba. She is crawling and pulling to stand. I think she says mama in context as she crawls after me shouting mama 🤣

She is still an overall quiet and serious baby but I think that's just her personality. She will never smile at strangers and always gives them such a serious stare 🤣

I'll keep this thread updated every few months.

Honestly though please try not to worry too much about milestones. Every baby is different and I wish I hadn't spent so many months worrying. Also delete the milestones apps! My daughter didn't have a real social smile until closer to 4 months old and didn't start cooing until around 5 months.

Hope that reassures you x

@Alicet31 How is your baby with hands? When did she bring hands to mouth? My LO is 12 weeks has similar symptoms like yours and occasionally she brings only left hand to mouth that makes me worried.

Hie, could you pls update on your little one. I m in the same situation. Thanks

@HCh23 how is your LO now. My 12 weeks son has a similar symptoms. I m so worried abt it. Any update wil be appreciated. Thanks

@Aagi07 Hey! She's 15 months old now and doing great! I no longer have any concerns. She says about 10 words. She's still quite shy but definitely more social. She started waving, pointing and clapping at 11 months old. She waves to everyone when we're out and blows them kisses lol. Please try not to worry, I know it's hard but all babies are all so different and they will do things in their own time. I hope my update reassures you a little x

That’s great. Really happy for you. Hopefully I can say same for myself. When did she start having proper eye contact and interacting. My son has very limited eye contact, smile rarely doesn’t turn to my voice, less facial expressions so worried. Was it same with your baby. Thank you for your response. Really appreciated.

@Alicet31 thank you so much for responding. Really appreciated. If you could remember when did she start proper interacting and eye contact.

@Alicet31 Hi I was wondering if you had a recent update on your child? My kid is 6 months and not always smiling at people, fluctuating eye contact and not turning to name.

@CatrTim Hi my daughter is 19 months old. She's very social now! Smiles at everyone, waves and blows them kisses. Loves children and is always walking up to them and giving them hugs. She knows about 60-70 words. Try not to worry, they all learn in there own time. Hope that reassures you a bit x

@Alicet31 @Alicet31 Alicet31 thank you for updating me,
did she scratch or moved her hands over breast when feeding or playing? Not sure if it’s developmental or autism :(
did you have her vision assessed??