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Advice please! My 6 yr old son and his friends are being viciously bullied by 2 boys in the year above

7 replies

aznerak · 25/01/2008 12:26

Hi there

This may be a bit garbled and is very long, so apologies in advance.

Basically, my son is in year 1 and in nursery and reception, was a truly happy little chap.

Once he moved into year 1, this has slowly changed.
He has always been the eyes and ears and voice of the class - not telling tales, more what activities/learning they have been doing, what topics, who plays with who etc.

However, once in year 1, that stopped.

Since September, he has become more and more worried about going to school, crying etc and despite vast efforts from my hubby and I, we couldn't find out why. Eventually, through more and more probing, he opened up at the beginning of December to say 2 boys in year 2 (year above him) have been physically, emotionally and pshycologically bullying him.

Whilst I was doing all the probing, I obviously mentioned it to his friends' mums who in fact were saying similar things.

Anyway, as it turned out, at least 6 boys were suffering like my DS was.

So, all the relevant mums and dads went in to see the head of the infant school back in December.

Her attitude astounded us. She basically said that it couldn't be happening in the school, or she'd know about it, making us feel like naughty little school kids ourselves.

Anyway, we persisted and she said she would look into it and sort it. She called us all later that day to say the bullies had been talked to, wouldn't do it again, etc etc and they would be closely monitored.

Things seemed okay and then the xmas hols set in.

Since going back after xmas, as it turns out, the school haven't monitored the bullies at all, it has all started again, but becuase they want 'revenge' for being told off before xmas, are being much worse.

All of our boys are scared out of their wits and one boy in particular (very close family friend) has suffered enormously. His parents confronted the school last week and were assured it would now be dealt with.

However, we found out yesterday that one of the bullies is still in the playground and has been hitting again this week.

We went straight to the head yesterday who has finally it seemed taken notice.

She has called in a behaviour expert from the council who is coming on Monday and has assured that the bullies won't be in the playground today or Monday at least.

My son was crying again this morning, not wanting to go in as he is so scared.

What can we do to take this further? Can we try and get these boys expelled? We have heard this isn't the first time they have bullied and despite us complaining in December, they have re-offended in the first 2 weeks of term. They were again reprimanded and their parents called in and again, one of them has bullied again this week. (The other one can't as he was deemed the brains of the operation so is banned from the playground this week and next).

Anyone got any suggestions as to how we can make things better?

It has damaged our boys and I am hearbroken we put trust in the school and they are no repeatedly letting us down. They have a duty of care and are not fulfilling this role.

Please help!

Thanks for reading x x x

OP posts:
WingsofanAngel · 25/01/2008 12:30

Do you know who the Parent Governors are. You should approach them.

coppertop · 25/01/2008 12:39

I would ask for a copy of their anti-bullying policy and take it from there. If it isn't being followed then take the next step, which is usually a complaint in writing to the governors.

Good luck.

aznerak · 25/01/2008 15:59

Thanks for answering.

A letter has gone to the governors and the anti bullying policy we have had - pile of junk to be honest. Clearly the school is fortunate to not have had to deal with this before, but now they are confronted with it, they don't seem to have a clue.

OP posts:
mamalocco · 25/01/2008 16:10

If you google bullying you will get several useful websites giving you some more info. Childline in particular have counsellors on the phone who have experience of this and could give you some guidelines about what you can expect the school to do.

Best of luck.

emmaagain · 25/01/2008 21:16

I couldn't leave my child with that headmistress. She sounds like a nightmare.

morocco · 25/01/2008 21:18

is it a good school with a reputation to uphold? sometimes they are the worst for playing down bullying. keep on making a massive fuss with everyone you can. I would be surprised if they haven't had a bullying incident before, particularly if that is their attitude.

pointydog · 25/01/2008 21:25

It is not a good sign that the head says bullying could not happen at her/his school. That is the worst part of your story. You hve to keep pushing with the other parents to get bullying recognised as something which can happen anywhere. Do not be patronised by him/here

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