oh ny gawwd my 17mth old wont stop screaming and screaming every day

[melsy]

shes pushing away every offer of fruit, rice cakes , plays calmly with me doing doc kit, dolly's, jigsaw and then wants something else and as she cant speak just screams. She wont let me wash up , cook , tidy as shes forever at my legs pushing me away and wanting me to pick her up. She has not stopped screaming all morning since 7 , I kid you not.

Its just getting too much , as Ive been at home with a possible fractured rib(or whatever the blinkin hell it is). Ive given her calpol , as shes got worse each day, she seems exhausted by lunch time and has also missed some meals, as shes half asleep at the table. Thers no temperature ,but dd1 has got a heavy cold , which dd2 may be starting to get??????????????

Im just overwhelmed in this house alone , as have had to stop doing most thngs and heal/rest. Ive been home non stop for months due todd1's medical problems/illnesses.

Shes now pinching and pulling and smacking my thighs below here, hysterical and sobbing.

We have been sitting together loads and had a little cuddle in bed this morn , so I wouldnt say this child is lacking in affection,love and attention.

I dont know what to do with her.

Ive tried all sorts now.

Is it just terrible twos early ?

dd1 wasnt like this at all , so bit of a shock.

Oh this must be so hard for you. DS was JUST like this at this age. I remember one of my friends commented on how he aleays seemed to be crying (and I mean screaming) when she spoke to me on the phone.

I aften resorted to calpol as I would be convinced he was sickening for something, though most of the time it made no difference.

I know with ds that getting him out of the house regularly made a massive difference so this must be soooo hard for you. In fact I almost never stayed in all day with ds when he was this age.

I don't know much about your situation other than what you have posted but it does seem you have a lot on.

You aren't well and your dd1 isn't well which is bound to put a lot of strain on everyone and I assume you are coping all on your own. You DD2 may be reacting to the situation. Is there anyway for you to get a bit more help for a few hours a day. Even a tennager or someone training at the local childcare college looking for work experience might be a help and wouldn't cost much or indeed anything.

normally have a full week , playgrps, gym class ,etc. dd1 is much much better now thankfully and doing amazingly , as shes come through the worst of it and recovered over 6wks ago now from adontonsilectomy (large ones were causing severe infections that hospitalised her and nasty illnesses for 5mhs). Im thinking may be dd2 is suffering from major major major long term cabin fever as is her mum!

My dh does what he can with shopping, cooking dinner and taking dd1 to nursery school and Ive been very lucky to have other mums at school who have been bringing dd1 back for me also. Its just the long drawn out days alone just us until gone bedtime.

Im not sure Im eligible for the college placement thing anymore, (is there an age thing???). I did have someone for 3mths last year from a college near doing a nanny thing in her last yr and that was a great help, but you also have to manage and set things for them and there's been to much on to worry about the mentoring of another !(although I do like doing that).

Im hoping I can start to get going again myself next week and get back to driving and hopefully get out and about. I just hope it doesnt make me sore again.

Its nice its dry out today, as Ive opened the back doors and brought some cars and see saw up to the deck for dd2 to go on , but she still wants to be with me like a little slug !!!!

I spose Im feeling stifled from it all and feel guilty that I just want to be away from the house, the kids ,the sink the kitchen, ooooooooooooooh this damn kitchen/conservatory, (were laptop is).

sorry its all so long and on and on and on, I have limited adult company , so get a bit starved of convo.

melsy, is it possible she has an ear infection? Even though she has no temperature? I could be wrong but I seem to remember Yorkiegirl's dd2 had glue ear (not sure what that is I have to say ) and she was doing the same - almost constant screaming, only pacified for a while etc. In the end I think she had grommets fitted. Sorry for being so vague ...

Also, my super-independent ds1 (2.5) goes all clingy when not well, but since it conflicts with his normal independent-ness, he is constantly wanting/not wanting cuddles etc - it's the old "a cuddle with mummy usually makes everything OK but it's not working just now and I'm confused" scenario (well it is chez Miaou this morning as he has a temperature and has been up all night!)

Hadnt thought of that , not familair with how glue ear presents, sounds painful .

Shes just got herself on her see saw on the deck and seemed happy, but now Ive come back here , shes run in and started again! I tell you Im no more than 3mtrs from her on there!

Is this severe separation anxiety ???

I felt so tuned in with dd1 , normaly could work things out with her & was much calmer and happier to potter, but Ive met beyond my match with dd2.

Your dd1 sounds like she is doing fantascically well given all she has been through but I think you have had and are still having a tough time. I think you may be right that getting back out and about a bit may help with ds2, though I think a check on her ears may not be a bad idea either.

I am always amazes at people who say they have almost never taken their children to the GP. I seemd to live there when ds was between the ages of 1 and 2. There was rarely ever anything wrong with him that the doctor could find but he was crying so much I would go just to check.

Having said that there were some occasions when he was ill with an ear infections and that only came out because of yet another visit to the GP to see why he was crying.

I can only say that ds improved quite a bit at 2 years old and now at 3 he doesn't seem to cry any more than other 3 year olds. Dh is convinced that ds just didn't like being a baby and is much happier now he can do more stuff.

If you feel very unsupported you could possibly try contacting Homestart www.home-start.org.uk/about/, though it does sound like things are on the up a bit for you.

Long story but homestart err discharged me last yr, suggesting professional help for me. Im awaiting CBT form MINd and gp is monitoring me , but thats only part of the picture.

my 18mo dd is a bit like that but maybe not quite as bad. She has just had a cold and was awful. She can't talk either so I just get constant 'mama mama mama mama' screaming/crying- even when I take her with me to the toilet and sit her on the floor next to me- it drives me insane. She is over the cold now and much better- if she does it I raise my voice and tell her sternly to stop crying/following me and she does. I am a SAHM with a 2.8yo so they both get plenty of attention from me.

As for the not eating, both of mine do that when they are teething. You might not be able to tell that she is but she is the right age for a bad bout of teething and I guess it can be pretty sore. I would be pretty sure she is just feeling sorry for herself, wants loads of cuddles and her mouths too sore to eat. I give my dd extra bottles of milk (she normally only has one at bedtime) during the day and paracetamol when she's like this and don't worry if she doesn't eat much. The clinginess is a total PITA but hopefully it won't last!

oohh drives me crazy very quickly right now, you find yourself chanting in your head , its ok, Im ok , im ok, im ok, and then another voice says , I cant take it any more and you have to keep saying the im ok bit again !

Shes got most of her teeth now almost , there may be one eye tooth left now to come , I can just see its tip.

I gave her calpol about 30mins ago, I completely forgot about my ashton powders. Wonder if I can get those in , perfect behaviour for them isnt it !!!

I understand a little of what you must be going through. My 18 month old ds is very similar at the moment, I've not been well (only a minor thing though!) which seems not only to make it harder for me to cope, but he does seem to pick up on how I am and I feel awful thinking that he's playing up on purpose, when I know he really isn't. (long sentence, sorry!) He's waking up a couple of times during the night so none of us is getting much sleep which, as you say, gets into a vicious circle of sorts - he's not sleeping well at night, doesn't eat much, doesn't nap much during the day, very clingy, won't go to sleep at night without a fight because he's overtired. We resorted to calpol and milk at 2 in the morning because we didn't know what else to do to stop him crying. He's got a few words so I think, like you, that he gets frustrated when he can't communicate fully. He spent a day with his grandparents yesterday, only woke up once last night and we managed to get out this morning to the park. The day today is miles better than any I remember recently. Perhaps someone can help you out with looking after your dc and perhaps a run round the garden while you watch could help. I hope things do ease for you.

And I forget to say that it really gets me down that I can't get anything done in the house, and it doesn't matter that people say 'oh leave it don't worry about that' it still bugs me!

oh sheeesh,it bugs me too , everything piling up around me & also having to sit at home with it alot to. Although dh comes home and in a near OCD stooper & flys around the place shouting about it all and shoving it all away(hes very intolerant of lots of things).

She also had meltdown in a shop yesterday , when we took her ou the buggy for a walk around some shops , and as I took her by hand into one shop , she decided to freeze on the spot and scream the most piercing scream she could muster. Everyone was looking at me like I was doing something bad ,so I told them to stop staring and joked that she didnt like that particular shop! Even security came up to me to make some comment, but it all made me livid.

I was trying to not pick her up , due to my back , but had to anyway, otherwise I would have looked even more crazy in not tending to my child , which is what it felt like! Im the ignore it camp , as sometimes they just have to have a moment to scream !

I still cant work this out , its so sporadic , it seems more when Im not paying her 100% attention or doesnt get exactly what she wants , which isnt always appropriate. Shes playing around alot with food and will only eat some choc and crisps , which is not what I like doing at all, (dd1 is allowed so its hard not to let her see).

Ive just given them both sliced orange and chopped blackberry's and dd2 just sat playing with them, normally she would woof them down. Dh gave them unsalted crisps with sandwiches for dinner great help, but thats all she wanted as thats what was on the plate , so the tuna got left, as do any chopped veg.

Despite this , there are windows of her being silly and making little faces and laughing. Its quite disarming the combo.

Can it just be teething, mixed with sporadic teething or just awful terrible 2's ????????

teething with sporadic teething !!!!!