Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Getting a bit concerned about ds taking everything so literally and seriously

42 replies

nutcracker · 23/01/2008 19:17

He is 5 and you simply cannot say anything to him without him taking offence.

We can be having a laugh and i will say 'harry you are so funny' and he will instantly change his face to appear angry and say quite aggresivly ' I am not funny', like it was an insult.

Whatever you say, clever, silly, lovely, happy, sad etc etc he takes it as an insult.

You simply cannot have a laugh and a joke with him because he doesn't get it at all. He just gets angry and insists what you are saying is wrong.

It is getting really hard to have a conversation with him because it turns into a minefield of me not knowing what to say so not to upset him.

I had his parents evening tonight, and they seem quite happy with him. I asked about his behaviour and they said it was fine, and that he was a typical boy . He is the first boy I have had so I have no idea if he is typical or not tbh.

Is it somthing to worry about or will he grow out of it.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

nutcracker · 27/01/2008 20:41

Thanks tibni, have just posted on SN

If his teachers feel he is ok though can I still take it to the Senco ?

I didn't specifically ask if they thought he had problems, I actually asked if his behaviour was ok and they said it was fine.

OP posts:

tibni · 27/01/2008 20:57

SENCO should have more experience and hopefully will appreciate you wanting to talk. SENCO is usually a teaching member of staff but can be the head or deputy.

AS children can have excellent behaviour and conform to the rules in a structured classroom environment. This doesn't mean that they do not have difficulties that need extra support or understanding.

I support parents of SEN children and have an ASD child myself. I spend a lot of time in schools and I know that SENCOs find it incredibly difficult approaching parents if they have concerns. Accepting your child has difficulties can be a very painful process and the SENCO can be the first people to suggest possible problems. It can be an emotional time and sometimes parents reactions can be very extreme.

take care

Original poster

nutcracker · 27/01/2008 20:59

Thanks

Ds's class is ocasionally taught by the senco.

Is it really bad to wish I had never noticed that things weren't quite right ?

OP posts:

colditz · 27/01/2008 20:59

Ds1 is just like this. If I say "Oh you are a silly sausage" he falls to the floor convulsing hysterically at my evident stupidity, and when he has recovered himself a little, shrieks "I'm not a sausage, I'm a boy! AHHHHH hahahahahaha!!!"

colditz · 27/01/2008 21:04

Oh I suppose I must say i have wondered at times if Ds1 has Aspergers ... but he certainly doesn't tick all the boxes for it. I have been dithering for a year about pushing for a DX one way or another, but I know a few perfectly normal little four and five year old boys like this, they just don't like it when people present the world to them as 'Other'.

Original poster

nutcracker · 27/01/2008 21:05

Doesx he ever get offended by it though Colditz ? Ds does, he seems to find it to much to bear.

Oh meant to say, Ds has also started doing a false laugh. It's like he thinks he should be laughing at something that others find funny, like a film or something, but he doesn't actually find it funny so just pretends.

OP posts:

Original poster

nutcracker · 27/01/2008 21:08

Oh I do too Colditz, but I think since ds has started school, I have noticed that he different to most of the kids in his class.

I think alot of the kids find him irritating, especially when he keeps talking to them about the same things, and won't let them change the topic of conversation

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 27/01/2008 21:10

I certainly don't want to play down your concerns nutcracker but there are a lot of things on that list that could apply to a perfectly ordinary 5 year old boy

I think you should get some help on this (the SN board will know what to do) but in the meantime please don't assume that there is definitely a problem. My ds shows many of those behaviours and I feel pretty confident he is average (nearly 5 year old) child.

colditz · 27/01/2008 21:15

he doesn't get offended, but seems unable to distinguish between when I am joking and when i am serious .... he believes what he prefers to believe, and won't listen to me. Eg, I told him not to go running on a particular pavement as cars reverse out of drives there ... he laughed and insisted "You are just joking!" I wasn't, I really wasn't but he was having none of it!

I also watched him tell at least 15 not-very-interested people that he can count up to 130. He trails around after the boys who are playing PowerRangers - he wants to join in, but has no knowledge or interest in the PowerRangers, and doesn't know how to pretend to be someone else (ie a PowerRanger). he does a very engaging 'laugh', and people think it's very cute, but half the time he is laughing because he is aware someone is trying to make him laugh - not because he gets the joke.

But I have been putting a lot of this down to being a very small child.

Saying all that, talk to the school SENCO and ask to have him assessed because YOU won't relax until you've done it.

Original poster

nutcracker · 27/01/2008 21:19

Oh I agree Franny, I did read some of them and think that maybe any 5 yr old would be like that.

I think it's just that lately I have noticed that he does seem to behave quite differently to his peers.

You are right Colditz, I won't relax if I do nothing, although I am scared of doing something too of that makes sense.

OP posts:

Original poster

nutcracker · 27/01/2008 21:21

Have also noticed that I seem to forver be saying to his sisters 'no leave him, he doesn't/won't understand what you mean'.

I don't mean he is thick, just that he won't 'get it'.

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 27/01/2008 21:21

No I think although scary you should do something.

Original poster

nutcracker · 27/01/2008 21:26

Oh yes definatly.

OP posts:

Candlewax · 27/01/2008 21:37

It is scary nutcracker and I was in denial for quite some time but I am glad we went forward with the school's support. The SENCO was quite clued up and she was suspecting Aspergers for quite a while but just did not like to say it to us.

I firmly believe as well, that the earlier there is a dx, whatever it turns out to be, the better. This is because if helps everyone - the child, the parents and the school. It is not something to be frightened of, it is something that will make you a more informed parent on behalf of your child.

And, if there is NO dx, then your mind will be put to rest.

Original poster

nutcracker · 27/01/2008 22:09

Thanks candlewax, I will let you know how I get on

OP posts:

CoteDAzur · 27/01/2008 22:23

Just wanted to say that there is a large spectrum within AS - near-autist like in "Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-time" (very good book, btw) to highly functional like my friend.

Let me rephrase my previous statement as as "AS does not have to be a disability". This friend is a very successful corporate lawyer, quite weathy, and his only Special Need that I can think of is a couple of more friends who appreciate him for what he is and don't run away the first time he starts telling them about what his favourite prostitute likes doing to him.

vInTaGeVioLeT · 27/01/2008 22:49

nutcracker - do you think you would feel offended if someone outside the family ie school or childminder said they thought your son might be AS ? it's just that i'm a childminder and a little lad i mind [for a year] doesn't seem like a normal little lad - he's lovely but he seems to have no sense of humour - is a bit of a train obsessive - is very serious lots of different things that don't seem quite right really - he is however a nice little boy, polite, calm, helpfull but it sounds awfull but it's like he has no spark and no joy although he is not unhappy if you see what i mean . . . .

does anyone else think that this seems strange?

Flip

1 2