Worried about my 4 year olds development?

[Andrea77245]

Hello,
My 4 year old stepson recently started year R (last week)
He has had developmental problems before this, he has had glue ear and his speech is quite behind due to this, he has been getting help for this from his nursery and a specialist. While at nursery he was doing AMAZING, he was very outgoing bubbly making friends with everyone, the nursery workers were very impressed with how far hes come.
For the past week he has not seemed like himself, he's been quiet, not following simple instructions that we know he can like putting his socks on , it seems like mornings getting him ready is always a battle. While we're waiting outside school for him to go in he dosnt speak to anyone hes very quiet, and this isn't like him at all.
I spoke to his teacher about this who wasn't very helpful she just agreed he is struggling and very quiet and kept saying how he dosnt sit in the right seat. She didn't have anything else to say, no helpful suggestions just kept repeating hes struggling.
What can I do about this, I'm abit lost, speaking to his teacher makes sense why his behaviour hasn't been the best recently, and it seems like he's not getting much support at school and I'm very worried what can be done about this?
My partner can see similarities between him and what his brother was like when they were at school who has adhd
I'm just very worried hes not getting enough support at school and his behaviour shows there's something wrong. What can I do?
Also his mum is not in the picture he lives full time with his dad and I.
Thank you

Ask to speak to the school SENCo about your concerns.

Some of what you've mentioned sounds quite par for the course to me. The first few weeks of Reception are a massive change for a lot of them and many struggle to adapt. Resisting getting dressed, being shy/quiet around peers, outbursts at home- all pretty common I think. However as his teacher agrees he's struggling there may obviously be more to it than settling-in glitches. If I were you I'd probably give it until the start of October and then ask for a meeting with the teacher to discuss how he's getting on. And if she says he's still struggling then make it clear that it's on her - and maybe the school's SENCO- to come up with a plan for how they're going to support him. She should have had enough time by then to observe him more and come up with some strategies and ideas. Very vague and not at all reassuring of her to say "he's struggling" without going into more detail in my opinion.

He's been there a week OP, probably less as I'm guessing he's done some half days last week? With respect I think you and teachers need to take chill pill and give the poor lad chance to adjust especially if he isn't being especially disruptive. Talking to the SENCO isn't a bad idea but what he probably needs most of all regardless of his developmental needs is just cuddles and reassurance. Worry about his development after half term at least I'd say. Once settled he might come on leaps and bounds. Sending you big hugs from one reception mummy to another. It's a big adjustment for all I know xx

He could be ND too, it does tend to run in families. Doesn't sound like ADHD though, more likely ASD and he is struggling with the transition which is pretty common. Or it could be nothing and he might just need a bit of time to adjust and settle in. What exactly is he struggling with? He's been there such a short time that I would just give it some time.

It sounds like nursery may have helped him a lot with socialising - that just doesn't happen at school but maybe you could help by getting to know parents and inviting potential friends to come round to play. That one on one time can really help them get to know each other and cement friendships.

He lucky to have such a lovely step mum.