My DS has said in a pretend conversation in the back of car - 'don't tell daddy'

[leoleo]

We were in the car a few days ago and I heard him say 'I'm sad.. I'm really sad' Which worried me a bit. Spoke to his dad and mentioned it and asked if his mum who had been watching ds recently was ok or upset. Thinking maybe she was crying or something and told him she was sad.

Then 2 days ago again in the back of the car he was chatting away and I heard him say 'don't tell daddy' so i listened and he said it again. So I said don't tell daddy what and he replied with no don't tell daddy and then said ok leo don't tell daddy. I said to him that he can tell daddy anything and that was the end of it.. I am worried but his dad is quite dismissive of the comment and says it could be anything which obviously it could but on the other hand it might be something.

He is 2.9yrs how likely is it that he would have made this phrase up or would he be repeating it from being told it? The way he was saying ok leo don't tell daddy is the way he repeats instrustions we've given him - like ok leo 1 biscuit etc.

I am worried and I don't know what to do.

I'm confused, who is 'leo' to you?? Your stepson?

I think Leo is her dp's son?

Think Leo is her son. "His mum" is her partner's mum. That confused me for a minute!

Wondering if partner's mum gives him treats and says "don't tell daddy". Might be worth checking with her.

Sounds like he is repeating something he is being told. "Don't tell daddy."

However, it could very well be

"Oh, go on then, cheeky monkey, you can have another biscuit, but don't tell daddy!!"

in joking fashion.

But it is one of those things that should be followed up on.

Sorry he is my ds. I am no good at posting long stories. So you think I should dismiss it?
I have no other reason to think anything 'bad' is happening but I am worrying prob needlessly

If I follow it up how should I put it.. Or leave to his dad?

You know when sometimes you hear something and you just panic and go to the worst possibility in your mind - I do it all the time I can't help myself in all cases and much more since I had ds

His mum - I meant ds daddy's mum. Sorry for confusion

It's right that you check it out. I guess it depends what kind of relationship you have with your MIL as to whether you or partner should raise it.

It's ok our relationship but I think where DS is concerned they worry about everything I say to them and that I am over sensitive and can be stubbon so I would worry that she would lie to me and dp to cover up mistake.

What sort of thing would you say? Sorry if you feel like your leading me by the hand.

I know cat - once I'd slept on it that's how I felt. But on reflection while he is so young I don't want him to keep anything from us until he is older and can differenciate (?) between innocent 'secrets' or bigger ones.

My MIL told me she had told my son off saying he would be sorry later. When I asked her about it and said I didn't like it, she said she'd said he would be sorry. I know it is only a word but it made a difference and tbh I think she did say later.

I would talk to her about it. Him saying "really sad" sounds like it needs explring tbh.

He is only 2.9 and when they are 6 (I don't know he is my only child) then they know that we don't give away suprises type of thing.

I have to admit I'm guilty of this one like we buy 4 cakes and eat them all and I say "don't tell Daddy"! Then one day my eldest daughter told me something that had happened and I asked why I didn't know earlier and she said "Daddy said don't tell mummy" boy did I go totally mental!! (Daddy had done something seriously stupid though!) It is one of those phrases that slips out without anyone really thinking to be honest - unless it's like my husband and he knew what he'd done was stupid and he didn't need me telling him. Best to try and avoid saying it but if it does slip out then it does. The "I';m so sad" could be something simple picked up from a tv show - even kiddie programs will take about being sad. Maybe query "Where did you hear that from Leo?" probably just Jake telling Milo!!

sorry I meant talk about being sad not take - crap typing!

hhmm you poor thing. i'd worry too but am a worrier.
its the i'm sad bit that gets me. could you ask him when you are having a nice cuddly time if he's happy or sad and try and explore a bit?

DS spends all day every day with me, so I know that nothing untoward is ever happening to him, and he would probably say 'Don't tell Daddy' in role play, because I sometimes say to him (when he's being a bleeder) 'Come on now, I don't have to tell Daddy you've been a pain today do I?' he replies 'noooo, don't tell Daddy' for some reason his Daddy being upset with his behaviour bothers him more than if I am, so saying that works, maybe this is what Nanny has been saying to him???

I'd try and get it out of DS without making a big deal out of it, if he says it again make it a joke, whisper conspiratorially to him snuggle up next to him and say 'Oooh have you got a secret? Tell Mummy then, you tell me yours and I can tell you mine' If he's been told not to tell Daddy he may very well tell you.

He may ask you yours first so personally I'd make up something like 'Well, at lunchtime todayyyyy, I was a bit greedy and I had TWO packs of crisps ' (overact as well, to get him in the mood of the 'game').

If he has been having treats then he can tell you and if he has misbehaved, he can tell you too, because you've just told him you do both.

If you can't worm it out of him, ?then I'd suggest talking to his Nan, but it may eb something and nothing and could be solved really easily without any stress on your relationship with MIL.