anyone still a sahm now there children are at school?

[spottyzebra]

just sems that ven if your a sahm you will return to work whn your lo's go to school

i want to be a sahm forver! how do i go about this?

I am ,ds just started this yr.
I find it dull and end up shopping a lot and spending way too much £££ .

Have found a job now which starts next month.

It is doing nights 2 days a week which means I don't have to worry about childcare in the school holidays .Have a teenage dd who can help out.

Hard getting a suitable job that doesn't mean organising childcare around all the school hols and sickness.

I work 4 days and my Dcs are both at school. Have no intention of ever going back fulltime.

hotcrossbunny-god it must have been diffiult having M.E and coping with the baby/toddler years.
I am 'lucky' as my symptons developed when my dc were four and six.
I wouldn't push yourself too hard. I spent last year thinking I should do more and helped a lot at school and started voluntary work but when I felt really ill I kept up with my commitments as I didn't want to let school/voluntary group down and as a result my symptons became worse.

I work full time at the moment, two DC's aged 8 and 4. I am trying to reduce my hours to either part-time, or else full SAHM
Youngest will be starting full school in September, so i will only have my mornings 'free'. Plan to do exercise as i never seem to have time at the moment, and play tennis. DH thinks i will be cooking and cleaning haha

me.

I have been looking for a part-time job that fits in with my family life, but such jobs are few and far between.

A friend of mine applied for a teaching assistant job, and was told that they had stopped sending out application forms as over 100 people has already applied

I don't want to do full time at the moment, but I may consider it in a few years time, when both children are at secondary school.

My youngest now 4 has just started full-time and I thought I'd be making the most of this time but I'm having a hard time getting motivated at the moment. The ideal is to take up volunatry work part-time to get me doing something and building up my cv and maybe consider a college course later on - I figure if I volunteered and then on of the kids was off school sick I wouldn't feel guilty about calling in to say I couldn't work that day. Having 1 or 10 kids doesn't matter - school hols, non-pupil days and sickness means that if you have a job it creates an awful lot of problems for you. We really need 2 incomes but I know I'd be the one to always take time off work as I could probably only expect to get a lowly job now after 10 years at home anyway (unless I could do the college course bit for a few years). I really feel for working mums because it's so hard for them to worry about childcare issues - none of us are in the ideal position - being a SAHM sounds fabulous but you easily lose confidence and your identity and feel that you're just a babysitter. I want to cram so much into those 6 hours now the kids are away, college, work, scrapbooking, walking my dogs...one day I'll get my act together I'm sure.

wow this really makes interesting reading, its amazing how we all live such diffrent lives

my aim is to be a sahm forever, the ou is a great idea, so is looking at further education courses

to all those that are sahm with the kids at school,do people try to presurise you to get a job?

I thought my hubby would but having experienced me going back to work after the first baby being born and the difficulties with us trying to take it in turns to have time off work when she was sick - I think he's realised that it's just so easy so he has said to me not to worry (although I do because of all the debts) but I know realistically I just can't cope with the pressure of trying to juggle a job with finding and affording childcare for 3 and by the time you've caught up with the housework - how much free time do you really have?? (puts feet up, switches on tv and eats another chocolate - LOL)

I work one shift a week(I am a nurse). Have 4 DCs aged 18-2,so need to be at home with youngest atm.Lucky in that my parents are available to do one day's childcare,and I am home for 4 pm.
Will keep this up when youngest goes to school definitely.Am lucky in that money is not an issue, and I will clean,iron,lunch with friends,read,go back to bed in the day,perhaps alittle swim occasionally,bit of shopping....the days will be full!!

Just out of interest, for those of you who don't work and are not ill, what is your husband's opinion of your choice to stay at home? My OH always says he would not like me to stay at home, even if we could afford it, because women who don't work lack their own sense of self and don't do anything with their lives. I am not saying I agree with him - I don't - I am just curious what yours say.

dh puts no presure on me whatsoever to go back to work. i think he appreciates that it would be difficult to manage with 4 children, even when they are all at school.also, he works awkward shifts and no family willing to help out. however, i sometimes wonder if it would perhaps do me a bit of good to go back..ive plenty to do but its all chores and im mentally bored..

mine are 9,8,7 and my mum never stops nagging me to go back to work (I worked full time from the age of 16 to 25 and couldn't wait to have a rest).
hubbie works away alot and i don't think i could manage a job aswell. anyway, i like being home for the kids

No my dh never pressurises me to return to work, just like he didn't push me to give up. He knows how hard it will be if i do go back.He's laways been concerned that i might be bored or unhappy at home, as i had a relatively interesting career, but since i'm not then that's fine by him.
Personally i do think it makes a difference how many dc's you have - loads more washing, running around, sorting out, and more chances of their being days off due to illness etc - just from force of numbers. alos it's relatively easy to pan off 1 or 2 dcs onto a pal in an emergency, 4 is a total invasion

cutekids, its funny that its your mum nagging you isn't it?why do you think she does that ?

horray for all the lovely dh/dp's out there

good point about the men not wanting to take time off work for holidays and sickness etc

how many weeks a year do children get of on holiday?

I am but not by choice,when we adopted our three the idea was that would spend a couple of years at home then go back to work. Unfortunately middly has SN and can't find anyone would take him on, i did offer to work in local Coop in evenings as money is tight. But lovely hubby says he would rather i relax with him and we can manage just about.

I spend a couple of days helping out at school listening to children read and spelling tests, i enjoy it but do miss working. Still thats life can't have everything and rather have my chidlren than work.

My eldest starts school next year and I am currently on maternity leave. Have stopped getting paid now and am majorily panicked by the thought of not going back.

And I think its a real possibility because as far as i can see, its easier to work when they are small, its just a matter of finding childcare (assuming you can afford it). School, homework, holidays and after school activities are a LOT more complicated and your kids are a lot more aware of you being around or not than a 18 month old toddler is (or maybe not, but they can tell you about it more when they are older!)

I am terrified by the thought of not having my own money though. Even while on maternity leave i have been using my savings rather than asking for money from DH. Didn't really matter first time around because I was definitely going back. Now I am beginning to worry as the little stash won't be replenished if I don't go back

Tiddler - I sympathise as it was thought of not having my own money that made me go back to work (part-time) after both lots of maternity leave. But I find it is possible to manage now they're both at school as we have a great after-school club and holiday club, and I take my leave when I can in the school holidays and save a few days for the inevitable sickness. I have a sympathetic boss and work flexitime so say LO is poorly one day I can take the day off and make the time up the next day/week.

It would be harder if I worked full-time and I wouldn't want to while they're so young. They only have to go to after school club twice a week (till 4.30) but they really enjoy it and they don't miss out on after school activities as they can go to Football, Cheerleading, Singing for Fun, etc and then the After School Club staff pick them up after.

So if you really want to work outside the home, it doesn't have to be school hours and term-time only. Although some employers have term-time only contracts such as Social Services and the NHS (depends what job you do but I know people who do it).

And thank God it is possible as it's only work that keeps me sane .

sallystrawberry

It does get boring after a while though!

don't know what my mum has a bee in her bonnet about really. my hubbie has never ever pushed me to go to work-although neither would he stop me. as long as he's in a good job -touch wood!-he's always said he likes things the way they are.no,he's not a male chauvinist or anything. he still does things around the house aswell.i'm very fortunate. touch wood!!!

Branflake - my dh never wanted me to go back to work, in fact when I got a job (school dinner lady - a mixture of they offered it and I intended to go on to TA) he was...not exactly shocked, but def. a bit upset. It was handy being in the middle of te day and lovely to see the kiddies, but also, being in the middle of the day meant that I couldn't go anywhere, on those days. And the pay is rubbish. Still I did it for 2.5 years, 2 days a week, but I didn't need to work and in the end other things meant that I gave it up (needed to concentrate on project-managing the extension etc.)

And anyway it's really hard to go back to work if you want to see your dc before and after school - not many jobs out there starting at 9.15 (to allow for getting to the office) and leaving at 2.45.
even working in a school has probs, like INSET days or sickness. It's not worth it unless you have to, and it's absolute B**s to suggest that women 'need' to work to be valued. Being a SAHM is a job, it's a bloody hard one and needs lots of skills to be a good one. It's just really undervalued - i do get made to feel like a piece of rubbish if I tell people I'm a sahm. Luckily the dc appreciate me (or they will when they get old enough to realise, i hope)

I'm a SAHM and have been since DD started school 3 years ago.

It all seemed too complicated to get childcare sorted for before & after school and during school hols etc (I'm a slut of little brain).

I have SO much admiration for working mums, but I've been there, bought the tee shirt and the pension plan that's probably worth nothing now, and decided staying at home was better.

I ebay now more seriously than I used to, declare my tax and everything, and probably bring in as much money as I did when working (after expenses and such).

I lurve being at home. Means I can do this, even on a half price listing day!!!!

Cutekids, your DH sounds like mine. He likes me being at home but is a million miles away from chauvanism. It's just logistically easier for him if I'm here to collect the child when she's sick, look after her during hols, etc.

He doesn't have to worry about the childcare during his working week, which takes pressure off him. He still does the majority of the housework (cos I'm too slutty to do it myself) and he finds time for DD every day. I guess I'm pretty lucky...

I am and really enjoy it although sometimes I feel I should be working. I have built up a great network of friends - some don't work, work part time or flex hours. I run about 3 times a week. I worked from 16 til 41, even working when the DS's were babies until DS2 started school. I just found that when they started school I had no childcare before/after school and the school holidays were a nightmare. I do feel that the skills I built up over my lifetime of working have gone to waste and worry that I will never work again. But know that I am very lucky to be in this position. I don't think you can ever win really!

My Work Skills (computing ) are now like something out of the Ark, but I can cook, sew, clean(!), organise...and I try to keep busy doing my glass, or picking up my German and French, and I am lucky that I don;t need to work, either for the money or for my 'own validation'