Losing patience with my 2.5 year old

[goforit99]

I know they are called the terrible two’s but wow!!! I honestly never expected it to be this difficult! As a solo parent I am really struggling with the constant whining … it’s doing my head in and it’s sensory overload for me! I scream into my pillow atleast 7 times a day and cannot stand the whining anymore. Everything is faced with a “no”, bed times are an effing nightmare! I’m so frustrated and angry all the time. No pleasure from being a mum at this stage at all. I don’t have much support apart from a childminder she goes to twice a week and sometimes more if I need space to work etc. How did you survive the terrible two’s stage??

That does sound like you're struggling. Have you spoken to your GP about how you feel?

Toddlers and Tantrums are really tough but being angry yourself and screaming into your pillow might be a sign of PNI. How was the birth, was it traumatic by any chance?

@PritiPatelsMaker nothing to do with her birth or any other trauma, I’m just frustrated! The constant whining is getting to me.

Here here. It’s tough isn’t it. I have a 3 year old and he is being an absolute nightmare at the moment. He was a lovely child but after new baby he has changed. He loves his new sibling but something in him is different. He is now hitting and resting us ALL THE TIME. I don’t know what to do.
you're doing a fab job. It’s normal at that age. Try to get them busy. I notice if my son is bored then his behaviour is much worse.
he was off nursery this week as he has a bad cold but otherwise fine. So we stayed in doors and boy. That was the week from hell!!!

It can be really hard at times. Often difficult behaviour around this age is associated with tiredness / hunger in my experience so maybe offer an additional snack time or supper time after her tea. Or bring bedtime earlier.

Try and say yes as much as you can. Eg if she’s whining because she wants to climb on something but it’s not safe, then take all the sofa cushions off and put them on the floor for her to climb on safely. Or if she’s trying to pull stuff out of the kitchen cupboard to play with but it’s not allowed then get a tub and put in a handful of dry pasta / bit of flour / bit of cocoa powder and give her a spoon. Let her explore in a way that you can say yes to. If she wants to draw on the walls then tape paper all over the wall at her height and let her go with a pen. Or take chalk outside and draw on the ground.

Its very relentless and hard. But try and remind yourself that she is still very little and she is trying to understand the world around her. And do what you can to keep yourself calm - eg run yourself a bath and give her the game of washing your legs for you while she stands next to the bath (I love doing this!!) or if you’re feeling overwhelmed at mealtimes just do a floor picnic - something easy. Get as much fresh air as you can together, every day.

Hi / i’m a single mum too (no father and family the other side of country). My daughter just turned 18 and off to Uni 🥲and i remember that stage well. It’s very tiring and relentless and I really feel for you.
however, you are the adult and you can help fix the problem - she’s just little, not really understanding and nothing is going to change unless you help it change. You need some energy to fix it. Can you get a small break for a few hours just to sleep and rest? When my daughter was a young baby and keeping me up at night, sometimes I would put her in her cot, so she was safe, sit on the stairs and imagine how i would feel if something happened and I didn’t have her. I used to then feel this tremendous love and longing surge over me and that would help give me patience. Weird I know! … but when you’re on your own it’s really hard and You have to summon energy from somewhere.

second - and this is the hard bit - once you’ve checked she’s not wet/ hungry/ and she’s slept a bit - playing with her at her level on the floor with her toys for a few hours will buy you more time and a happier 2 yo in the longer run. No screens for you - just games with her toys. I promise you that if you do this once a week or so, she will just start to listen to you a little more when you start to set small boundaries. There is an insta account called ParentsTogether that’s also very helpful and gives tips on how not to nag them all the time and constantly say no - which can make their whining worse.

if you have done some good play with her, then let her have some downtime in front of the TV and you can relax too.

i also found meeting friends with youngsters helped as there were two adults to cope - and i also napped when my daughter napped every Sunday afternoon to try and catch up on sleep.

good luck - i hope you find some energy and joy as it can be great x