DD is 7 and awaiting assessment for adhd and asd. I’m getting so ground down with her appalling behaviour and dysregulation.
i generally take an empathetic but firm approach - acknowledging her anger / frustration / whatever emotion but making it clear that her actions (aggression) isn’t acceptable. I offer “time in” and cuddles if I can see that she needs help to calm down, or quite time alone if it seems that my presence is making it worse.
she absolutely cannot listen or follow instructions, no matter how clearly and concisely told. She either ignores, says no, or smirks and does it anyway. She loses privileges but doesn’t care.
she is incredibly jealous of her younger brother. DS is 3 and is starting to copy her now which is so upsetting. She enjoys getting him into trouble (I believe so she is seen as the “good” one, whereas they just both end up told off). They will very rarely play nicely, usually it’s a constant battle to referee them, keep them separate and ensure they get the same amount of attention.
every weekend is just unbearable at the moment. The entire time is meltdowns, aggression, bickering etc. days out get cancelled due to atrocious behaviour. I just really want us to enjoy positive family time and start every day that way but it deteriorates to fast.
DH is very hands on, shares all parenting etc. we tag team and ensure each child gets quality time with each of us.