My son scratched another boy :(

[Rattles1]

I realise that this is my parenting and that’s why I’m posting for advice, but I expect some harsh responses.

I went to the shopping centre with my 18 month old son yesterday. He had been in the pram for a while so took him out in the toy section to walk around. He was fine, looking at the toys etc. Then he saw an older little boy who had a cuddly toy he wanted, and he went to snatch it, and as I was getting him, he tried again and scratched the little boys face. It didn’t cause a scratch as his nails were cut, but still. The parents were of course annoyed and they all just walked off as I took my son and apologised.

I felt so embarrassed and upset, and started crying. I think I just looked like a mess in the situation and ended up just going home.

my son does tend to snatch toys from his sister , and I hadn’t really seen him do this outside.
Please I do realise this is my fault , but I’d appreciate any tips as to how to control him and prevent this. He is a twin and I do find it so stressful at times , wish I could do a better job

Oh OP please don't stress so much and blame yourself. It is not you fault at all and your little one is still so little. He is only just learning social skills so even though you should model this behaviour and guide him slowly don't expect that he will behave perfectly overnight. Sometimes much older kids behave even worse than that. I actually cant believe the other parents got so upset over that. How old was their child?

He's 18 months (just at baby still) and it's what kids do at that age. He's still learning. Carry on teaching him "no" when he does things like that, but don't upset yourself.

Thank you for the comments. It does make
me feel better. The little boy was probably around 2.5 maybe 3. But it’s hard to tell as my son is still smaller given prematurity so maybe he was younger. My son tried to grab the toy and just once again when I went to take him away. At that point he accidentally scratched the boys face. Probably i added to the mayhem. I said sorry but they were annoyed and walked off.

He does grab toys from his sister at home, and we try and say no and give back to her etc. He gets upset but quickly forgets with a new toy , he doesn’t ever hit or scratch her.

He goes to nursery and has just started transitioning from the baby room to the bigger room, he’s unsettled at the moment after being very comfortable in the baby room with his peers and key workers who he is very fond of. Not sure that has anything to do with it, but adding for context. I also don’t take him out of the pram lots in shopping centres etc as usually I have both my twins with me and hard to cope with them running around, so he was excited too. Maybe a few things I need to try and work on

thanks again !

@Rattles1 my DTS1 used to scratch too, it was mortifying but when I spoke to the HV, she said it is (unfortunately!) a completely normal way of communicating at that age. It turned out he had a speech delay due to severe glue ear too so he really couldn't get his point across any other way, not that that made it any better!

The only thing I could do at that point was watch him like a hawk (I was the very definition of helicopter parent!) and snatch him away if I thought he was going to claw at anyone. He did get much better by around 3 - he had his grommets put in then too - and he's now 6 and wouldn't dream of scratching anyone apart from his twin brother but that's a whole other battle so please don't be too upset

@LucyCarlyle30 thank you 💐