ds, 3, refuses to sit on the loo.

[ruty]

Ds, 3.4 years, totally potty trained on the pee front, even wakes up in the night to go to the loo, but will only stand to go to the loo [in potty or when we are out in the loo] and refuses to sit down, which means he still only wants to poo in a nappy. He asks for a nappy when he wants a poo, does it, and then asks to be cleaned up, so the whole process takes about ten mins, and the rest of the time he is without a nappy and has been for a year. I don't want to push it, but I've bought him a lovely Winnie the Pooh loo seat to sit on, and he still refuses. What on earth can I do? He is about to start nursery a couple of mornings a week....

Put the nappy on him and sit him on the potty.

Then next time put the nappy in the potty and get him to go on it.

Hopefully after a few turns he will realise it is okay.

It is harder for them to poo on the toilet than the potty and it can take a while.

My 3.4 yr twin son isn't even 'wee trained' he attempts to sit on the potty or toilet..but it is always 'too cold' for his bottom...don't know what i am going to do either...been trying for ages.

will watch this one with interest if you don't mind

Does he have a step so htat it's easy for him to climb up, and on which he can place his feet squarely while he sits sot hat he feels secure? Most steps high enough for the second will be too high for the first, so you'd need a sort of stairs arrangement unless he's a very competent climber.

Also, could you get him to sit on the loo while pooing in his nappy? That would take you a step closer, and could make him feel that the loo is proper place to poo.

he just refuses to sit when having a poo, he likes to stand.

I've killed the thread already

He won't sit on anything?

not when having a poo! driving me crazy!

That's slightly strange, as it's harder to poo standing up - the instinct is to crouch or bend your knees.

My ds1 had sort of the opposite problem: he couldn't toilet train partly because he used to curl over so much when pooing he couldn't balance on toilet or potty. His whole body would strain, sort of curled up, arms curved out and round, and legs spread with knees bent. He alwasy sat on the floor when he needed to poo. One day he had a dreadful bout of constipation, and I persuaded him to sit on the potty (in his nappy) to poo, as I thought maybe having no pressure from the floor on his bum it would be easier for the poo to come out. I had to support him that time, but once the constipation was over he always sat on the potty to poo in his nappy. Some weeks later he toilet trained without any problems.

My DS1 (3) is scared to sit on the loo, thinks he will fall in. COuld this be part of the prob with your DS?

Maybe lots of playdates with children who do sit on the potty, or making sure he watches everyone in the house go (yes, yes, I know, that's no good with some people's requirement of solitary bathroom time) and no pressure, but wait for him to want to go.

If he asks for a nappy when he needs one, then he is "potty trained", it's just that where he is choosing to go is not the long term convention.

I'd back off. And I bet he'll just hold it at nursery until he's comfortable with using loos to poo (and even if he is by the time he goes, the chances of him feeling comfortable to poo at nursery are pretty slim to begin with, I'd have thought)

good points. he may feel he's going to fall in, yes! He looks a bit scared of the loo. Won't sit to pee either. I might just try to encourage him to sit on potty with nappy on as you say Pretty Candles, he has developed such a resistance to it now i'm not very hopeful, but will try!
Good point to about him watching other people, he sees me and dh I'm not sure how his friends' parents will feel if he ogles them on the loo, but could try!

rofl. I was thinking of the other children, not the other parents, although, why not, eh? Let it all hang out, man

I meant the children but it kind of came out the wrong way!!

Does he see or hear the flush? It frightens some children - I remember, myself, being afraid of the flush until about 5.

i don't think it is the flush. Tried last night getting him to sit down with nappy on - to no avail. Must keep perservering 'spose!

Another thing is, when fully clothed and sitting reading a book, to gently lift him onto the potty, just to try out the sensation of sitting on a chair with a hole in the middle (which, when you think about it, is somewhat weird as a new experience).

but no pressure, once he's had enough, leave it for another day or two, and it might only be 30 seconds he sits on it.

No expectation of "performing", just trying out the place to sit.

I'll try emmaagain, thanks. He is extremely stubborn about certain things [won't wear underpants either] I'll do my best!