Why has my adorable little girl turned into the anti-Christ?

[Li]

I'm at the end of my rope with my 7YO DD. She has become just about everything I despise in a child. She lies, steals things (from her brother & me & a friend at school), does the direct opposite of just about everything I ask her, she daydreams when she ought to be doing something else (like brushing her hair B4 school), she bullies her 4YO brother, she sulks and lashes out. I've been called into school because she will not have her school picture taken, and she won't join in with sports day activities. I just do NOT know what to do with her anymore. She is such a bright, funny little girl when she chooses to be. She seems to dwell on negativity, you can almost see a thunder cloud following her around. I feel so miserable, and I know she is too. She argues about everything with me. We moved house/area 7 months ago and she has joined a new school. I know she's having trouble making friends, but am sure because she is so blooming moody that she hasn't bonded yet. I've tried extra attention, big 'grown up' chats, I've tried points charts (which have limited success). I'm so sick of yelling every day. She bitches and moans when she has homework to do. Both her dad and I are confident, cheerful and outgoing people but she doesn't seem to follow that trait and I don't know what I'm doing wrong? She hates her brother with a passion and very often asks me 'what did you have to have him for?'. Like any other parent, I work hard at treating my kids equally and make a point of not allowing one extra hugs/kisses/time than the other. But she always tells me I don't love her. We make special time for her and try and do soecial things but this often makes her worse. Is it developmental to act this way? I'm so scared that she's going to be lonely at school. If anyone can shed some light on this I'd love to hear your comments before I lose what little is left of my patience.

don't know I'm afraid but, if it's any help. I think there must be something going round as my 6 year old is being foul at the moment as well.

I am at the end of my tether as well and have no idea how to handle it.

Not much help am I? Sorry.

Hi Tommy - Nice to have a sympathetic ear (well, eyes and fingers) anyway!

How about (in a cheerful moment!) asking her if there are any girls in class she would like to have home... farm our your ds on the same afternoon, so she can have some girly time and get to know a classmate.

It sounds like she has had the wind knocked out of her sails by the house move, and needs a good buddy to give here some support.

Keep trying, I'm sure she knows you love her really!

You know, I really wonder if girls have a hormone rush at that age because my daughter went through a very difficult age at about seven. So much so that my husband and I once had to walk away from some cliffs because the temptation to push her off them was actually getting quite strong. She was baiting us and her brother and it was unpleasant in the extreme. (I am, of course, joking but I can see why people snap.)

At school, however, she managed to hold it all in so we received the full benefit.

She seems better these days--she's nine now. I will always remember her telling me she heard 'these nasty voices in my head telling me to do these things'. Then she'd need lots of affection and reassurance that we really loved her. I tried to spend as much time as I could doing things one-on-one with her. And she started Brownies, which also helped.

So perhaps this is just a developmental blip, as you suspect!

I have wondered if her behaviour was hormonal... I guess they are getting physically ready for the enslaught of puberty. Am trying to get her into Brownies after 7th b/day in March and think that maybe the way forward might be to keep her as busy as possible... She is really missing her friends from old school and I have tried to integrate her with the girls at her new school, but she seems drawn to the fiesty ones that make her cry. I will persist with inviting the nicer girls over for tea and hope that one of them gels with her. Trouble is, she's joined this school halfway thru year 1 where all the kids have formed relationships already from reception. Hopefully when she starts Brownies she'll bond with someone. It's such a shame that she won't realise that I'm her friend. I don't know why she has to fight against me so much...

My daughters also went through a change about 7ish. I think its a funny age, when alot of fantasy starts to become reality and this is hard to deal with. Its like a growing up phase where they begin to question things more and realise life is not as easy and carefree as they thought.

Also it is well known that our body changes wvery 7 years so that could factor in it!

Maybe she is a little depressed? It can happen and maybe a bit angry but cant understand or express it. Sometimes kids just don't know how and why the feel sad or negative. Each time she says something negative get her to discuss why she said it and explain to her what happens when she has negative thoughts, (she will have negative feelings and emotions) which is not a nice way to feel all the time.

I also hear that Reiki can be very good for this? Might be worth checking out!!

Good luck.