5 year old is out or control!!!

[Upstairsforthinking]

Im in desperate need of some advice regarding my 5 year old DS behaviour.

He is an anxious little boy which was first picked up as things started opening up during the pandemic.

He dominates every single situation presented to him. He doesnt care for peoples feelings and seems to enjoy pushing people to the edge of sanity. He angers very quickly, he tells us he hates us, wants new parents, were horrible ect. He gets in our faces to try and act threatening. He has ruined every meet up with his friends, my friends, grandparents ect and can be really quite spiteful and hurtful to people.

Having said the above, he can also be very fun, intelligent, athletic, and sensitive. I know deep down that I've got a lonely little boy with no siblings or cousins, he is anxious and just crying out for attention but is also in need of some firm bounsaries but I have no idea where to start.

Please help. It's got to the point where If I were to punish everything he does wrong, I will be punishing him all day every day. I just need some suggestions of suitable disciple for a 5 year old which takes into account his anxiety.

Thanks for reading!

He does sound like he is crying out for attention tbh. What have school/nursery said about how he behaves with them? Do they have any concerns?
Does he get attention and played with when meeting up with grandparents for example, or do the adults all chat and he acts up because he was excited to see them but they then aren’t giving him any attention?

have you tried positive reinforcement in the past?
www.whattoexpect.com/toddler-behavior/teaching-positive-reinforcement.aspx

They will play with him but he has normally started to be nasty to people before they get chance. I could suggest some 1:1 time with them and see if that helps with the visits.

He gets lots of attention at home but if I were to male a phone call or do some housework he will immediately act up. He is very controlling of what I do and if he doesnt want me to do something he will ensure that its virtually impossible for me to do. He fiercely loves his whole family but is so awfully behaved that I feel people are no longer going to want to spend time with him.

The negative behaviour is almost constant. As an example, when we meet with his friends, rather than play with his friends, he would rather play up to prevent me from speaking to his friends parents. This sort of stuff happens all the time and I'm starting to find myself feeling quite isolated.

School noticed his need for routine straight away and know all of the triggers for his anxiety. I have asked his teacher I'd she thinks he may be on the spectrum but she doesnt see any signs other than the need for routine and sensitivity to change.

Thanks for the link, I will have a read.

My 4 year old son is exactly the same. It's exhausting dealing with it day in day out. Perfect